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May 16, 2005
Weekend Wrap-up, in pretty pink ribbons no less
For those of you with petite attention spans, my weekend could be summed up with a shot of jerking off rock stars, a wave of projectile vomiting, heavy flirting, serious mama and daughter bonding, and some waaayyy hot safer than safe sex. Ok, I know you have things to do, so don't feel as though you have to hang around on my account. Go on and continue doing what you do best....making the rest of us look really, really bad.
Who's still here with me? I love you, my sweet, sweet enablers.
Friday night was the long awaited Green Day concert. They were FREAKIN AWESOME! We had decent seats....close enough to see Billie Joe shove his hand down the front of his pants and invite a full-on masturbation frenzy.
BJ: Say Ayy-ooh....
Eager to please concert crowd: AYY-OOH...
BJ: Say, ohhh...
ETPCC: OHHH...
BJ: Say, Ahhhh..
ETPCC: AHHHH...
BJ: Say Mmmmmm...
ETPCC: Mmmmmm....
BJ: Somebody fuck me!............
Believe it or not, that was not the highlight of the show. Kaleigh and I were jumping around like maniacs and screaming at the top of our lungs for the full two hours plus. At one point she screams out, "Tre', my mom wants to marry you"...uh, no. Her plot was that in her mother snaring Tre', she would thereby be that much closer to Billie Joe. I also loved that she gave a nod to my boyfriend by yelling out "Your beat is correct!" We had a blast and I don't think she was mortified of me even once.
Got home late and crashed hard. Around 4AM, I woke to find Kaleigh standing next to my bed.
"Mom, I just threw up everywhere"
Little voices in my head: Where am I? What day is this? Oh, I'm sure she is just exaggerating. I don't see any vomit on her
"Are you ok?"
K nods head
"ok, well try and go back to sleep then"
Fast forward to six hours later........
I wake up, stumble to the bathroom, turn on the light and am met with a scene that no words could possibly describe. Seems my daughter's definition of everywhere is all over the sink, the vanity, down the mirror, covering the toilet, pool around the toilet, down the side of the wall....in short, explosive vomit deposited on every available surface. I decided I didn't have to pee that bad and settled down at the computer. It took me another two hours to psyche myself up to return to the scene armed with Clorox, a bucket, papertowels, and gloves. Did I mention that at this point, this had been sitting for eight hours? Truly the most disgusting moment of my parenting career, hands down.
She's fine. Turns out one of the kids in her class celebrated his birthday Friday afternoon by having his mom host a Mexican Fiesta. I know all to well, up close and personal even, what menu items my child partook of. Needless to say, she nor I will be hankering for Mexican rice for quite some time.
Saturday night I found myself getting hot and heavy with some real hotties at the Genuine Bash. I'm not one to kiss and tell, (yeah, right), so suffice it to say that there are some hella-sexy bloggers in our midst and not everyone is exactly what they seem. *wink*
Sunday night a certain someone tucked me in, but good. A hot and heavy IM session, with me pushing all the right buttons, er, uh, keys, got me a "CALL ME" message. *ring* *ring*................
Like I said, safer than safe....except for the pesky carpal tunnel syndrome and the crick in my neck. Perhaps I should take a friends advice and add a speaker phone to my Amazon wish list?
Posted by Lu at May 16, 2005 04:07 PM
Comments
I'm only going to say this once!
Skype.com
Its free to use, and its hands free! No typing needed.
Posted by: Genuine at May 16, 2005 07:50 PM
ahhh yes...I went a lil' nutz...It must have been the star's alignment...but it was DAMN FUN! Muhahahaha!!
Posted by: Daxohol at May 16, 2005 09:39 PM
You need one of those Judy the Time-Life operator headphones. You can go handsfree that way, yet still have a bit of privacy...
Posted by: Betsy at May 16, 2005 10:24 PM
. . . smirky smirk smirk. . . .
Posted by: Mamacita at May 17, 2005 09:52 PM
Woohoo! I'll bet you had some sweet dreams!! Ask me sometime about my experience at a Green Day show. It wasn't up close and personal, but pretty amusing. :)
Posted by: Crystal at May 19, 2005 02:40 AM