Where I’m really at…
As Mom and I drove down to Marin for my Neulasta shot, she told me that I’m actually farther along in this chemo-marathon than I’d thought!
What a nice idea! But I was dismissive to her comment, because she and I share the same affliction regarding numbers. We are verbal, rather literary people. Words make sense. Numbers don’t…they keep us humble. Besides, she’s the one who threw me a surprise 30th birthday party, when I was really turning 29! (You know, she’s one of those moms who used to always say “Sit up straight! Stop being a baby, you’re 12 years old….” “But Mom, I’m 10!”)
But then we put our two math-addled brains together and ….DUHHH!
Round 1 of chemo was 3.275 miles of a 26.2 mile marathon. I figured once I got through the Neulasta shot, the round was complete.
Round 2 was 6.55 miles.
Round 3, which was just last Friday, puts me at a thundering 9.825 miles! OK! I was thinking I was stuck at about 7 miles.
Typical!
I remember my first marathon. I got to mile 26 and its aid station. I actually sat down in a lawn chair by the table of sliced oranges. I grabbed a whole orange and started peeling it.
“Hey, I was going to cut that up so other people could have some,” hollered one of the volunteer manning the aid station.
I wiped away a salty tear, and put my feet up on another chair, and continued peeling the orange. I was now ravenously stuffing chunks of it into my mouth. “Oh, don’t worry, there’s no one else back there. I’m the last.”
“Well, I advise you put that down, and run, missy! Where do you think you are!?”
“I wasn’t ready to run this one. I’m a novice. I’m at about mile 19. I’m never gonna get there, so I’d like to enjoy this orange!”
“NO!!!! This is the station for mile 26! You have two more 10ths of a mile to go! Just over the bridge and you’re there! GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
I didn’t even look at her. I jumped to my feet, and galloped across the finnish line, with an orange in my hand, and in my mouth, because I hadn’t learned the art of chewing and running simultaneoulsy.
I finnished in spite of myself and my dire miscount of miles.
Thank all of the goodness of the Universe that I have other people to keep me on track!
Mile 10-ish means there’s no turning back, and it’s all probably going better than I think it is. ROAR!
Although I still am mystified as to why people are so freaked out when I’m wearing a hat.! It’s like they don’t want to make eye-contact with you when you smile at them.
There was a man in the elevator on the way up to the chemo ward last Friday. As soon as he saw my hatted head, he stared somberly at the ground. I wanted to take my hat off and throw it at him, and say, “HEY!!! It’s not so bad! I’m gonna be better in a few months.”
But the truth is, I will be better. For now, I’m just sort of tired… ugh!
March 15th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
Will you EVER let me forget your surprise 30th Bday Party, when it was really your 29th Bday???? Everybody got a laugh and you were the center of all the love and turn out to honor you even if it was the wrong year to celebrate! How boring it would be if your Mom was always right on, don’t ya think? My missteps and errors add color to your life, I Hope.
XOXO Mom
March 17th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Wow DeAnne! You make me WANT to run a marathon. If I ever manage to run one, I will dedicate it to you. What about a triathlon, think I could dedicate that to you instead? It might be easier to mix it up.
You are very inspiring to everyone around you cousin. I love coming to your blog and hearing how you are doing. You always have great insight and great things to say.
Keep your spirits high, but remember it is always good to listen to your body so sometimes you need your rest! If I know you, you won’t let yourself rest too long….but do whatever you find relaxing. You deserve it.
Love you,
Kelly