Have mercy. Let's just say that my relationship with my inlaws is uncomfortable.
We don't know how to communicate, and the small talk always manages to fade
quickly. My father-in-law was a GI stationed in Korea when he met my future
mother-in-law. After an long courtship, they married and produced two sons, both
born in Korea. Fearing that the boys would be ostracized in their small, rural
village for their American parentage, my MIL agreed to settle in America. This
meant leaving an affluent (by rural Korean standards... They had servants)
family behind, and moving into a mobile home park. Just before his 5th birthday,
my husband arrived in America. His mother was instructed to stop speaking Korean
to the boys, so they do not speak or understand, beyond simple commands and run
of the mill insults and swear words. My hubs grew up in the trailer park, and on
our first date, announced "I'm basically white trash. My dad keeps the Christmas
lights on the trailer year round." I thought he was kidding. Uh, nope. We've had
a year-long reprieve from inlaw visits. My MIL has needed false teeth for a
year, and did not want to attend social gatherings. Army dentistry being what it
is, and also stubborn old lady pride, we have dodged the inlaw entertaining
bullet. Last Sunday morning, we got the call. "Dis-a guhlandma. How ever-body? I
got my teeth!" *note* I am not intending to make fun of anyone, including my
MIL, except maybe a little bit. She really talks like this, although when she
gets angry with me she speaks very clear, concise English with less ethnic
stylizing. In fact, she's the Queen of Morose Messages. Every couple of weeks we
get the "Dis-a guhlandma. Why nobody call me. I could dead. You wouldn't know."
So, yeah, we should call her more. Point taken. Uh, sorry. Off topic. Anyway,
the new teeth signal the Opening of the Inlaw Social Season. I always get myself
worked into a frenzy over this, pretty much for nothing. Both the MIL and I have
mellowed from my days as a pregnant newlywed. Sure, I still have to lock my
bedroom door at night when she stays with us, because she likes to wander the
house. When co-sleeping with my son, I woke with a start to find her trying to
lift him out of my arms at 2 am. I don't care how much you love your MIL, you do
NOT want her standing over your bed at 2 am. My FIL likes barbecue, beer and
science fiction. Oh, and he has a long beard that he has split into two pigtail
type beards. And he loves baseball hats with slogans on them. About farting and
things. We have a mutual standoffish relationship. I am polite, and he is not,
but he thinks he is, so in my politeness, I pretend he is right. We'll see if
this is the inlaw season that makes me an outlaw.