My son, aka "Chuckie" is, as I've mentioned before, like a horror film doll. His
eyes open with an audible POP! and he immediately begins talking. And talking.
He says any old thing that comes to mind, and doesn't wait for an answer. No,
no. He just keeps on keeping on. Mother of the Universe (that's me) gets a
little freakin' impatient lately. It wasn't 20 minutes into his morning
soliloquy that I snapped "Stop talking, please! Eat your cake!" Yes, folks, I
fed my son cake for breakfast. I come from the Marie Antoinette school of
breakfasting - no bread for toast? No problem. Ahem. Chuckie actually greeted me
at the bedside with two boxes of macaroni and cheese. He shook them like maracas
and did a crazy dance while saying "Mommy, can I have mac and cheese for
breakfast? Mommy? Mac and cheese hey! Mac and cheese hey!" Now, don't be getting
the idea that he stopped there. No, the rhythmic chanting continued as he
followed me into the bathroom. Whilst ensconced on my throne, my son said "Hey,
Mommy, follow me. Into the kitchen. Mac and Cheese, macandcheesemacandcheese." I
calmly replied "Honey, Mommy's peeing." Not missing a beat, the questioning
began in earnest. "How fast can you pee?" I roll my eyes and say "As fast as it
comes out, dude." He wrinkled up his nose and giggled. "Mommy, can you pee as
fast as a raccoon?" The hubs chimes in at this point. "How fast does a RACCOON
pee?" "As fast as a race car." We both started laughing. "Honey, race cars don't
pee." "Yeah, but if they get a hole in their gas tank, it would look like they
were peeing, and if the gas is all gone, then they couldn't go. Hey! Mac and
cheese!" Oh. My. GOD.