About The Dog
So, we adopted a two year old dog last January. We being me. I was whacked out after a crazy Christmas, and thought that my children begging for a dog SURELY meant that they wanted a nice doggie. And, I'm sure they totally wanted a nice doggie. What we got instead was Donna.
*edited to add: Donna was named Bear. I let my oldest name her. She chose Donna for no apparent reason, and says it like "Dwonneh", like she's a New Jersey housewife. We tried to cover it with, "Oh, it's Italian for lady" but people didn't buy it. And the dog is no lady.
Not that she's all bad. She's cute. She is affectionate towards the kids, and follows me like a shadow. Oh wait, that's kind of bad. I have a toddler, a preschooler and a kindergartner. I really don't need another animal underfoot. But she's cute!
She can also leap clear over my head, and takes it upon herself to greet me with barking and body slams whenever we return home. Not cute! Not cute! I exit the car and open the garage door with a dog toy in hand, prepared to hurl it far, far away in hopes that it will belay the zealot-dog in her demonstration of "you left me, woman and took those other puppies with you and NOT me and now you are back and I will lick your face off after I muddy your outfit and bark at you for 30 seconds." We totally need a trainer. And after the trainer is done with the kids, then he can start on the dog.
The dog suffers from separation anxiety. The vet recommended crate training. Yeah. That didn't work out so well. I mean, I like whining and barking as much as the next pet mama, but it seemed to PEEL THE PAINT OFF THE WALLS and so we tossed that idea.
We did discover that the children love to be crated. We couldn't keep them out of it. Upon sharing this tidbit with a friend, she announced that her kids loved her dogs' crates as well, and with each additional kid, she plans on getting another crate and stacking 'em. Child-initiated, voluntary confinement is a hoot!
"Heck yes, baby, I'll be delighted to serve you lunch in the crate!"
Ahem. Anyway, the dog accompanies us on our twice daily, 2 mile walks to school. She pulls like a ding-dang sleddog. While I take heart that we could be Iditarod champions, I want her to be less enthusiastic on the leash. I took all three kids and the dog to Petsmart to buy one of those face harness things.
We laughed, we cried, we terrorized hamsters and parakeets and we bought the harness, only to discover at home that it was too big for our peanut-brained dog. So back to Petsmart today, this time with the husband in tow. We made the rounds, got the harness replaced and got home. It was chopped in half. Useless. Now I have to go back again.
(Noooooooooo! Noooooooooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Or, I can send the hubs. Yes. That will do. Probably won't work anyway, and the kids will take turns using on each other.
Comments
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Posted by: Susan | October 23, 2004 7:42 PM
Oooohhhh, I used to have a crazy dog. I'm sure yours isn't as crazy as mine. Really. I managed to get rid of mine in the divorce, finally. Which was a blessing, because once he'd appointed himself alpha male I couldn't actually, you know, let other people into the house. It was sort of a problem.
But the kids didn't miss him at all, on account of his idea of "herding" them meant body-checking them into the nearest wall and then standing on top of them. Ah, memories.
Posted by: Mir | October 23, 2004 8:34 PM
Sometimes, my dog still shows glimpses of the little terror that she use to be. She still greets me like I've been gone for 2 years, when I just went out to get the mail; she still herds me at the dog park; and, for the love of God, she can't walk sanely on a leash until she's done her business.
If it makes you feel any better, I think I'm the only dog owner whose dog actually failed the puppy training class. She didn't get to have a picture taken in a graduation cap; they didn't give her a certificate of completion; but, they did give her a 10% voucher is we decided to enroll her in the next session.
Posted by: Nikka | October 24, 2004 12:31 PM
Very cute dog, but I have always found dogs frustrating to live with. They're so affectionate, but a ton of work. After our dog died 3 years ago, I refused to get another and it's been a good decision. We do have a cat and parakeet though--the bird can be a pain. (chirp, chirp--all it does is eat,poop and lose feathers that blow all around the house)
Posted by: Margaret | October 24, 2004 3:23 PM
There's nothing like the unconditional love of a dog, is there? She looks so sweet...but your description of her is so much richer. She's lucky to have you.
Our kids have been clamoring for a pooch for years. I'd love to have one, but I think you'd have to shoot me if I went out and brought home another helpless little being. Either that or commit me to the local cerebral health management facility.
Maybe when they're older! A golden retriever named "Falafel".
Posted by: Carmi | October 24, 2004 6:46 PM
Just found you through blog explosion and bookmarked you immediately. Love your style and your stories. Kids in a crate :)
Posted by: CoolD | October 24, 2004 7:59 PM
I used to have a dog, but it dug the garden, pulled clothes off the line, ran away at any given opportunity, I took this personally and therefore gave the dog away...to my mum and they get along just fine.
Posted by: maria | October 24, 2004 8:29 PM
She is soooo frickin' cute!!!
Posted by: Lindsey | October 25, 2004 7:08 AM
You had me laughing so hard with the "And after the trainer is done with the kids, then he can start on the dog" line.
That part of the dogs wanting to demonstrate their unconditional love to you by licking your face off is the reason why I do not have a canine in my house.
Posted by: Blex | October 25, 2004 8:21 AM
Cute dog!
My kids love to be crates/boxes too. Even laundry baskets (but only when I actually need to use them). Back to the comfort of the womb or something???
Posted by: Marcia | October 25, 2004 10:20 AM
P.S. Thanks for linking to me. I'm adding you to my blogroll right now.
Posted by: Marcia | October 25, 2004 10:29 AM
The face harness has tamed my 90 pound beast into submission. May it work it's wonders on Donna. :)
Posted by: jenny | October 26, 2004 5:18 AM
Hi! I found you through Blog Explosion & I really dig your site. Mind if I add you to my blogroll?
Posted by: RockStar Mommy | October 27, 2004 11:54 AM