Ma'am? Put Down The Knife
DO NOT tell me that you have lost five pounds in the last week, and you have eaten large, yummy meals and not exercised one whit when I am sick and bloated, HUSBAND - you have every right to be pleased but um, RUDE.
DO NOT arrive at my door to sell me things and open with "How you doin' Ma'am?" 1) I might tell you, and you don't wanna know. 2) I resent the ma'am. Because I've still got it. It's packed away, but it's here, baby.
DO NOT announce that the crockpot chili smells funny (ie, like ass) to your immature nose, and you can't possibly have tomatoes cross your fragile palate WHILE YOU ARE DIPPING VEGGIE DOGS IN CATSUP, my children.
DO NOT ask me why I am cooking and baking and watching Alton Brown make donuts, again. I mean, look how that mania turned out. I need comfort food. I need to chop things. In tiny pieces.
Also? I think I require egg nog. That is all. Thank you. Good night.
:
|
Comments
Alton Brown rocks. Cooking AND science.
Posted by: Lee | October 22, 2004 7:46 PM
Hi,
I found your blog through Blog Explosion and I love it! We too have been suffering through colds and kleenex, and we are in Pennsylvania!
Corrie
http://www.corrieg.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Corrie | October 22, 2004 8:00 PM
Oh, dear. I'm just going to drop a box of Krispy Kremes on your doorstep and run really fast, mkay? ;)
Posted by: Mir | October 23, 2004 6:18 AM
So glad you visited my site, b/c that gave me the chance to visit yours!!!! You are so very funny, and I look forward to revisiting your site! :)
Posted by: Rubber-Sol | October 23, 2004 8:41 AM
Seriously? This is the best eggnog recipe EVER, and will also drunken you, which you might need right now too.
BALTIMORE EGGNOG
12 eggs, separated
2 cups superfine sugar
1 pint brandy
1/2 pint light rum
1/2 pint peach brandy
3 pints milk
1 pint heavy cream
Beat the egg yolks and sugar together until thick. Slowly stir in the brandy, rum, peach brandy, milk and cream. Refrigerate until thoroughly chilled and pour into a punch bowl. Beat the egg whites until stiff and fold gently into the eggnog. Drink until shnockered.
Posted by: Sheryl | October 23, 2004 1:43 PM
Hey Mrs G, thanks for the comment... just lost 20 minutes reading here!! Love it... will be back!
BE is proving addictive....
Posted by: deeleea | October 23, 2004 1:52 PM
Someone PLEASE get this woman some eggnog fast! :)
I hear it goes great with homemade bread.
Posted by: Chana | October 23, 2004 3:13 PM
Too funny, Jenny!!
Sheryl, you have performed a great pre-holiday service for mothers everywhere!
Posted by: bonnie | October 23, 2004 6:16 PM
Mmmm, donuts! That's a good episode!
Posted by: Christine | October 24, 2004 1:01 AM
Love Alton... can't wait for his T-Day special... always a good show! :)
Posted by: Chloe | October 25, 2004 8:12 AM
The first time a teen girl at a store gave me the "sir" I became so conscious of the gray hairs on my beard.
Posted by: Blex | October 25, 2004 8:25 AM