I still don't have my computer back in the house - it's on the agenda for tomorrow...

Today was supposed to be THE DAY. The arrival of the Merry and the Peace and the Joy. After the flooring blitz of this last week, I closed my eyes last night and envisioned sugar plums, and pine fresh scent wafting through my house, mingled delightfully with baking cookies.

At 3 am, it wasn't the Herald Angels warbling "Hark!" at my bedside, unless they've learned a few new Hi-5 tunes. At 6 am, burrowed on the couch and in a state of twilight slumber with a finally sleeping baby collapsed on my chest, I was commanded to arise by the Merry.

Yes, my Merry minions had donned Santa Hats and were marching up and down the halls, singing Faller laller laller la laller laller laller and Dingle Balls. Or maybe they were singing Bingle Bells. They like the aliteration thing. So funny. Hah. Ha. Hmm.

Next came the Peace smackdown. More specifically, Peace Officer Mommy had to report for duty. Apparently Merry = Mayhem and requires screaming and running and sliding. And crashing. I brought the Peace. I kept on bringin' it. And it was greeted with catcalls and butt waggles. Also funny. Hee.

But the Joy. Oh! The Joy! We ran through acres of Christmas trees at the farm, so filled with the Joy that we forgot to even look at the trees! We ran and ran. We fa la la la lallered ourselves sick. We even managed to find a tree that wasn't too pokey or sheddy.

Once we got home, I was still in Peace Officer mode, and felt sore afraid as the Merry Makers made off with Christmas decorations like squirrels heading for the hollow tree stump. Instead of Joy and Peace, I felt very scrooge-like, and wanted to sideline the Holiday Festivities until I got a good night's sleep.

But then, my daughter drew me into her bedroom to see her "Winter Wonderland" display that she had set up on her dresser - a fiber-optic tree draped with red beads and surrounded by a mud covered football, a Rudolph that is missing half a leg and his tail, a stuffed snowman and a Christmas tin in the shape of a train. She stood under this carefully arranged vignette and said "tada!" while wiggling Holiday Spirit Fingers at me.

I complimented her on her setup, and then felt like crying for shame in my piss-poor behavior. Tonight, we are going to let them have at it, and if I have to muzzle myself, I will not be a killjoy. Holiday Joy arrived today, and marched up and down my hall singing carols. I didn't even offer up egg nog.

That my children have such joy and hope despite my attempts to bring it down a notch tells me that I'm missing something - maybe it's the Magic. Seven days 'til Santa and I'm still working on my routine.