Brought To You By The Letter "F"
Excuse me for a moment while I bask in the glory of having a child with an amazing memory, and a firm grasp of phonics.
And now, let's watch while I freak the heck out.
*laller laller laller laller laller*
When I picked my daughter up from Kindergarten today, her teacher was biting her cheek as she wished my daughter a pleasant afternoon and she wouldn't meet my eyes. I figured that it was just one of those days - I mean, the woman is in a room with 21 5-year olds, for 6 hours a day. I imagine I'd be very stewardess-like - Buh-bye! Have a pleasant afternoon! Buh-bye! Thanks! Buh-bye! and then as soon as the last kid passed through the door I'd be curled up in the back of the classroom with a half dozen mini bottles of booze and a People magazine.
Anyway, as we walked home, I asked my daughter about her day. "Oh, you know, it was PE day, we did fancy jumping jacks and stuff."
I asked, "What's the letter this week?" You see, each week belongs to a letter, a number, and a "popcorn" word. This week, the letter is "F."
One of the first activities they do each week is start a large, poster sized sheet with words that begin with the special letter written in list form. As we walked, I asked my daughter to think of some "F" words.
Her face lit up and she said "Oooh! I was the best at F words today. Mrs. Blahblah was so happy!"
"Really? That's great." I'm feeling a wee bit uneasy about this revelation.
"Oh yeah. Every time I said something, Mrs. Blahblah got a HUGE smile on her face."
"What words did you choose?"
"Fat, Funky, Ferret and Fabrosaurus."
"What about flower?"
"Booo-ring. I also told her Fart, and then I made a fart sound."
"What about free?"
"Susie said that. Then, I chose Fan-Freaking-Tastic!"
"Really. Hmmm. What did Mrs. Blahblah say?"
"She said it wasn't a real word but I told her you use it all the time. And you're really smart, aren't you, Mommy?"
Best freakin' believe it, y'all.
I'm cursing my habit of embellishing perfectly good words with faux-foul language. Another shot at the Mother of the Year award, blown.
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Comments
Hey, at least it wasn't fanfuckingtastic. :D
Posted by: Mir | January 24, 2005 7:43 PM
Then there was the time when Busy Girl was 3 and her Sunday schol class was having an imaginary picnic. When asked what she would bring on said picnic, she piped up, "Beer!"
Posted by: Busy Mom | January 24, 2005 8:26 PM
Class participation...two thumbs up! Yeah, the teacher should be happy you're not using the real F word!
Posted by: Grace | January 24, 2005 8:27 PM
I'm with Mir...
But hey, she ROCKS at phonics!
Posted by: Karen | January 24, 2005 8:37 PM
Hey, at least she thinks you're really smart, which will last for maybe 7 more years.
;-)
Posted by: Blex | January 24, 2005 9:28 PM
Okay, I laughed out loud. Your L is quite the precocious one; must be fun to be her teacher--seriously!
Posted by: Stephanie C. | January 24, 2005 11:27 PM
i have to agree with Mir! despite my attempts to stop, i just can't quit it with the "f-bomb"
Posted by: monique | January 25, 2005 5:42 AM
I agree, it could have been fanfuckingtastic, look on the bright side :)
Posted by: Lindsey | January 25, 2005 6:04 AM
I would have gone with the old "It starts with F and ends with U-C-K..........FIRETRUCK, what were you thinking?".
But then again, I was never real popular.
Posted by: Lee | January 25, 2005 6:20 AM
My 18-month old said "shit" the other day, a second after I said it because I burned myself. I think you're doing pretty good if she wasn't throwing an f-bomb!
Posted by: Terri | January 25, 2005 8:33 AM
As noted, it could have been worse. :)
Posted by: Jordana | January 25, 2005 9:16 AM
Very cute...can LittleJuJu take her to the prom and we moms can sit in the corner and cry?
Posted by: JuJuBee | January 25, 2005 1:07 PM
Fan-freaking-tastic!
Indeed.
I just hope the reason the teacher couldn't meet your eyes was because she knew she'd get the giggles over it.
Likely?/Not likely?
Posted by: Beth | January 25, 2005 1:19 PM
Ha, so funny. Everyone here is right, it coulda been a lot worse.
Posted by: cooper | January 25, 2005 1:45 PM
SOOOO funny. I had to share this with friends. It reminds me of the time my cousin's kindergarten teacher asked for everybody's favorite song. Johanna's was "Up Against The Wall You Red-Neck Mother!"
Posted by: Buffi | January 25, 2005 3:15 PM
Fabulous! All I did was read the title of your post and I was sure it was gonna be the mother of all F words that L offered up.
"Booo-ring. I also told her Fart, and then I made a fart sound." OMG, that made me snort!
Posted by: lu | January 25, 2005 3:29 PM
It's a good thing to be able to give the teacher a little humor for her day!
Posted by: Marcia | January 25, 2005 4:39 PM
rofl- :)
Posted by: helene | January 25, 2005 5:00 PM
Hilarious - I agree with Mir. I think she is brilliant and creative :)
Posted by: chasmyn | January 25, 2005 7:40 PM
Fucking-a, Jenny! God knows what else the kiddo's saying in class.
(Reminds me of the joke - What's the New York alphabet? Fuckin-a, fuckin-b, fuckin-c, fuckin-d...)
Posted by: GraceD | January 25, 2005 11:17 PM
OMG! Ditto! That is SO "OK" in my book. I'd have peed my pants if she were a student in my class. TOTALLY. :)
I LMAO at your "I imagine I'd be very stewardess-like - Buh-bye! Have a pleasant afternoon! Buh-bye! Thanks! Buh-bye! and then as soon as the last kid passed through the door I'd be curled up in the back of the classroom with a half dozen mini bottles of booze and a People magazine."
OMG!
Our son, at 3 or so, busted out a, "Can you shut the door? It's SUCKING (he used an S for an F at that point!) COLD in here!!!!" Niiiiiiice, eh? And even with emphasis. DOH! I'm just waiting for "the call" now that he too is in kindergarten. So far, so good... ;)
L cracks me UP!!!!!!! She is TOTALLY a mini-you.
xo Ging
Posted by: Ginger | January 25, 2005 11:25 PM
Hey baby - go check out my blog - I've offered up a challenge to you. ;-)
Posted by: Jacqueline | January 26, 2005 5:45 AM
Could have used "fudge"...
(although isn't it the letter of the week? plenty of time...)
Posted by: ben | January 26, 2005 10:23 AM