The Dork Gene
The die has been cast. The Dork-Force is strong in our family.
My daughter came to me last night, dressed in a pink fuzzy bodysuit that we bought at Target after Halloween (on clearance, baby!) and struck an obnoxious pose. I looked down at her and waited. She shot me an exasperated look and said, "I am Queen Princess Pink Poodle Patootience, and you NEED to bow to me. Now."
What could I do? I bowed, and then I fixed her a bowl of cereal, which Her Royal Patootience decreed would be served on the floor, so that she could eat like a Pink Poodle. Standing at the counter, watching her slurp and periodically pretend to scratch a flea, I didn't even bat an eye.
laller laller laller laller laller laller laller laller laller laller
My son, after an hour long monologue on the existence of a dinosaur named Dinah, who works in a kitchen, and on the railroad, all the live long day, took a deep breath and sighed.
"Hey, Mommy?"
"What?"
"Hey, hey, Mommy?"
"What?"
"Hey, Mommy?"
"What?"
"Hi."
**crickets chirping**
"Hey, Mommy?"
"What?"
"Hey, Mommy?"
"Okay, what?"
"Hi, Mommy. Get it? Hi!"
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They come by it honestly. I grew up with people who find it ever-so-entertaining to slide out of a dining chair and onto the floor, periodically flopping an arm or leg while making distressed chicken noises, while the rest of the family screams with laughter at the "boneless chicken" routine.
We do a whole boneless barnyard, people.
There is a freedom that comes with being a dork. Laughing until your sides ache, or engaging in some benign horseplay with the people you love - it fills up those empty places in your heart, and leaves less space for disappointment, anger, insecurity.
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Comments
We used to set places at the table for various invisible life forms. And they would reach over and fork something off Papa Smurf's plate and thank him for it. I played, too. All happy families are nuts. I love it.
What a great post. As usual.
Posted by: Mamacita | January 28, 2005 1:05 PM
... I would have looked at your son after the first "hi" and replied without a beat, "nope-just dizzy".
My family is more into the jungle animals without bones.
Posted by: Lee | January 28, 2005 1:14 PM
Oh, I am with you %100. I think everyone in my family was the stand-up comedian for Amateur Hour, Palookaville (or the Australian equivalent), in a past life.
Makes me think of comedian Billy Connolly, whose family motto is, 'Never trust a man who, when alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it out on his head.'
Posted by: jellyfish | January 28, 2005 5:32 PM
Hee hee! I don't know that I am ready for Pink Poodle Princess routines just yet. I'm gonna have to work on my funny bone. Right now I just have a baby dinosaur at every meal, complete with "raaarrring" noises.
Posted by: Tammy | January 28, 2005 7:31 PM
We like to pay the paraplegic family at home and drag ourselves around without the use of our legs. Terribly un-PC... and something we did before we had kids. Maybe this isn't the kind of thing you admit in mixed company...?
Posted by: Elaine | January 28, 2005 10:40 PM
Tickled my funny bone first thing this morning. What a hoot!
Posted by: Grace | January 29, 2005 7:03 AM
I wish we lived closer so our kids could hang out. They would totally get along. My four year old is the biggest dork. He tells me jokes all the time. They don't make any sense. He's done that "Hey, mommy" thing also. My 18 month old has his own language that cracks me up because he thinks I understand! I love my kids. They're much better then the adults in my life! The four year old has been pretending to be a dog for the last two weeks. I pray it's a phase!
Posted by: jenni | January 29, 2005 3:16 PM
That's hilarious! I love the full royal title :-)
Posted by: Chris | January 31, 2005 5:20 AM