Holy Crap, if my kids don't stop with the air-raid siren whining and crying about EVERY. THING. I'm going to lose it.

Of course, losing "it" is all relative. What is "it" and where is "it" currently?

For the sake of this discussion, we'll just say "it" is MY FREAKING SANITY. Current location? Clinging to the edge of a cliff, at the bottom of which is a trio of fang-gnashing beasts with angelic faces.

When my children become agitated and irrationally ask for things like raw cookie dough, RIGHT NOW or want to drive to Target to get a new toy, RIGHT NOW or demand a birthday party, RIGHT NOW, it is merely emotional kindling to further ignite their already raging bonfire of Mommy Doesn't Love Me Because She Is Unfair and Loves My Brother/Sister/Dog More Than Me And I'm Going To Break My Favorite Toy and Then Smack My Sister/Brother/Dog/That Mommy Broad And Then Throw Myself In A Heap In Front Of The Fridge as Well As Wail Like I'm Being Tortured Each and Every Time The Phone Rings To Show The Unfairness and Cruelty Of She That Won't Make And Hand Out Cookie Dough, Drive To Target or Host The Birthday Soiree Of My Dreams RIGHT NOW.

No, no. The underlying cause of all this is an impending cold. I tried that out on them. "See, you are emotional because you are getting sick. You need to rest. Crying makes more snot."

"Waaa! You don't want us to have any fun!"

I tried a different tactic: "My nose is red like a clown's nose...want me to juggle something?"

"Mo-om! Waaa! That's not fun."

Rationally, I know it's because they are not feeling well. They know it too, but won't give in and rest because THAT'S NOT FUN, Mom.

Bleh. If you hear the siren-like whining, duck and cover.