Alert
I've read of scholars who use sharp implements to cause themselves pain so that they stay alert.
I spent all day yesterday running around with my underwire jutting out of my bra and into my bicep. I can't say the poking and chaffing made me more alert, per se. More pissy, for sure.
I did have a good laugh remembering an old co-worker of mine. Upon finding her underwire jutting from the front of her sweater, she promptly pulled it the rest of the way out and placed it on her head like a hairband, with nary a change of expression.
I think I need to buy some really lovely bras this time around, since my current crop of serviceable over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders hardly screams "Oooh! Wash us on delicate! Or even better, hand launder us! Because we're so delicate and pretty!" A few trips though the regular agitation cycle with towels and jeans apparently weakens the seams. Huh. Who'da thunk?
The problem: I require support. Lacy demi-cups are all well and good, except when you are running full tilt to snag a toddler before they martyr themselves under the wheels of a grocery cart. I can't always control my kids, dammit, but my breasts had better stay put. Wonderbra? Cleveage to the moon is nice, eliminates the need to converse, and gives me a place to rest my chin (without bending my neck) but I like to save that particular look for special occasions.
Oh, and I have sloping shoulders that foil all but the stoutest of straps. And I hate pointy-boob bras, which make me feel like a compass. East? Why sure...just follow my bust line to the horizon.
So yeah. Bra shopping. Meh.
Comments
There was that wonderful scene in Thunderbirds where Sophia Myles character (Lady Penelope) pulls an underwire out to help someone pick a lock.
"I didn't need it anyway."
"Yes, m'lady."
Posted by: ben | May 13, 2005 8:26 AM
Ugh, gawd I hear ya. Us girls w/ big 'uns gotta stick together!
Posted by: Lindsey | May 13, 2005 8:34 AM
I love me some Bali minimizers. And a couple of the styles aren't too ugly. Though I gave up on pretty bras and underwear long before children anyways. Bodacious ta-tas and a propensity for yeast infections (TMI, I know) equals functional undergarments.
Posted by: HG | May 13, 2005 9:02 AM
I've pulled many an awry wire from my bra, so IFYP, sistah!
I now buy mine online.
Posted by: Stephanie C. | May 13, 2005 9:40 AM
I must second HG...Bali makes some great bras and most styles are flattering!
Posted by: MrsG | May 13, 2005 10:44 AM
What would I do without you??? You make me laugh daily!! I'z hates bra shopping!! Or any other clothes shopping for that matter!! There is a reason I do not have a full length mirror in my house! I used to be a long lean ballerina, but after 5 kids (including a ceserean and a set of twins) I am just rolly polly. Hey, does anybody have any great ab tightners. People call me "Dunlp" now cuz me belly has dun fallen in my lap.
If you have a Target or Kmart store (where in the world are you anyway?) For less that $15.00 you can get the same thing as you'd pay $30 for somewhere else. They are sturdy, too and now they even come in cool colors!! Good luck - my thoughts are with you!!
Posted by: Laura | May 13, 2005 11:23 AM
. . . and those Hanes-Bali outlet stores have some good buys. Some of them in my size are even sort of almost pretty-ish. In a large, fat, bowling-ball sling sort of way.
Posted by: Mamacita | May 13, 2005 11:28 AM
The only things worse than bra shopping is nursing bra shopping. UGH!
Posted by: Lisa Barker | May 13, 2005 11:32 AM
I bought a few new bras a couple months ago. I got ones that were padded. Not because I need to appear bigger. Far from it! I don't like the "peek-a-boo" factor. You know what I mean. Anyhoo, even though I did buy those new ones...I'm still using the old ones. Can't get away from them!
Posted by: Grace | May 13, 2005 1:19 PM
mine poked out last week, but the middle and right through the neckline of my t-shirt. I hate it when that happens. I should worn it on my head, my kids would of laughed
Posted by: justine | May 13, 2005 4:43 PM
I have odd shaped boobs. The cup size never fits. An a is too small and a B is too big. I've given up. I hate bras. I wish I could just be a full B.
I always joke that if some one could give me a boob donation that would be great! When I loose weight they get smaller. Like I need that.
I loathe Victoria Secret. Who looks like that? My boobs wouldn't push up if I begged.
Posted by: jenni | May 13, 2005 6:51 PM
Oh my, is this the ladies room?
Posted by: Blex | May 13, 2005 9:02 PM
target target target... for $12 you can get something that covers, holds and doesn't poke. even after being thrown in the washer and dryer numerous times. and, like laura said, they come in pretty colors!
Posted by: monique | May 14, 2005 5:37 AM
OMG...you could have been writing about me! I am the destroyer of all "functional" underwire bras!!!! Right now I wear sports bras, but am getting tired of them quickly. Maybe we can go bra shopping together ;)
Posted by: mrsrum | May 14, 2005 6:31 AM
I love underwire - but also seem to bust all the wires. I finally bit the bullet and went to Layne Bryant and bought a great, COMFORTABLE bra called a Ultra Curves balconette. It lifts, it separates and it fits. Who knew that they made something decent to wear for a plus sized gal!
Posted by: Jen | May 14, 2005 7:37 PM
I used to hate bra shopping too. I was a TripD and had a reduction down to a C -D. What a big difference. Now I can buy bras off the rack. Love it. For aupport stick with Playtex they are the best. Not to VaVaVaVoom! but supportive.
Posted by: The Staff Sergeant's Wife | May 14, 2005 8:36 PM
It's been ahwile since I stumbled on a journal that could really make me laugh at 6:30 a.m. :)
Posted by: Tonya | May 15, 2005 5:42 AM
I've never had that problem. I'm in the "undershirt" or "bras that do nothing" category.
Posted by: cassie-b | May 15, 2005 7:11 AM
I sure do feel for you...I hate bra shopping!
Posted by: Claire | May 15, 2005 8:49 AM
Argh! Bra shopping! Hate it, hate it, hate it! Nature played a nasty trick on me and gave me ta-tas that would look right at home on someone 6'4". I'm 5'2". Don't try to picture it, you'll go blind. You'll certainly never find a bra to fit me. Somewhere, some poor Amazon is wondering around wearing my breasts, complaining about how small they are. Can't stop laughing about the co-worker and the errant underwire.
Posted by: Dawn | May 15, 2005 3:07 PM
What is a bra? (Says the less endowed lady)
Posted by: SqareSlant | May 16, 2005 6:41 AM
Funny - every woman I knows hates shopping for bras. We all have trouble finding one that actually fits and doesn't rub, poke or squeeze us to death. You'd think someone somewhere would be able to design a bra that is comfortable and provides support, coverage and look somewhat attractive. Oh and doesn't cost $50!!
Posted by: Kris | May 16, 2005 10:19 AM