Did you see the funnel cloud hovering over my house this morning, sucking the life out of me? It must have made a tremendous noise, but I was scrubbing the toilet and the bathroom fan drowned out the whooshing noise.

Or maybe it was just the bathroom fan combined with my innate dislike for cleaning my house that caused me to wilt.

Whatever.

Point is, I've lost that virtuous feeling, it's gone, gone, gone, woah-oh-whoa.

I've reached that point in my workouts where everything hurts, but is still not improving. I'm thinking of marketing my new workout, which involves the hula hoop, jumping on the trampoline, chasing small children while going Laller Laller Laller and underbed item retrieval. Oh, and lifting weights, but that's really a small portion of the fun. It is VERY Circus. I'd love to add an aerial element. I just don't think the world is ready for that yet.

My hair, thanks to the rainy weather (and what's up with THAT?) we are having is GIANT and BUSHY. My appetite seems to be on a decidedly non-virtuous path, and I'm irritated that I had to discover via taste test that 1) India Pale Ale tastes like ass, and 2) Chips Ahoy are not meant to accompany ass-tasting IPA, or any beer, really, at all.

And don't you think I would have learned not to attempt that anyway, after the beer & donut fiasco? Instead of having meaningful dreams full of life lessons, I end up with a subconcious that seems to want to recreate certain stunts from Fear Factor.

Hmm. I suspect that margaritas, like, strawberry margaritas, would be fine with the cookies. You can see I'm a scientist at heart. Or tetched in the head, take your pick.

Wherefore art thou, vacation? The Circus could use a break from the antics of the Ringmistress. I know this, because my oldest told me so, and then called Grandma and asked if she can sleep over this weekend, and THEN she packed a suitcase which is sitting in my hall, two days after the phone call. I was told "Don't unpack my bag, Mommy, because I'm outta here this weekend." Oooohkay.

Finally, I leave you with this gem from Alex, which is SO me: