Forward, March!
My husband is off to Rhode Island, and then to Ohio over the next few days. His business trip includes two rounds of golf, in two different states no less, and a team-building dinner. Oh! And a charity auction. Pity my poor man, who works so hard.
He took a good deal of flack from me about his super-great trip planning: his departing flight left at 6 am, and he volunteered to pick up his two co-workers on the way to the airport, so he had to leave the house by 3:30 am. This meant that he had to get up at 2 am to preserve the line, drink his coffee and do his bidness before showering and dressing and clearing the heck out so the rest of the family could get back to sleep.
A few days ago, I posted about how this was just a little illness. Parenting gods were angered about my gross underestimation of the facts. At 1 am, my youngest stood outside our bedroom door and began barking like a seal. I was mid-REM sleep, dreaming about singing "Black Velvet" karaoke at a BlogHer dinner, and woke up thinking the dog was trying to get into our room. I was impressed that the dog was able to say "Mama!" in between barks.
Oh-ho! No, it was the smallest circus member, croupy and soupy and generally pissed. I gave her a drink of water, and played "let's make a tent over our heads with a big towel and run the faucet as hot as we can while we lean over the sink." That was not as fun as I thought it could have been, if she had just gone with it. We emerged wilted and red in the face. I gave her(okay, forced her) a hit off the albuterol kiddie bong and then we turned on the TV and watched Dora while I monitored her breathing. The steam helped, and after Dora was over, we hung out in the bathroom, steaming ourselves courtesy of the shower.
By 2:30, all the kids were wide awake, and hanging out in the living room. My husband got ready and kissed us all goodbye, and I finally convinced the troops that more sleep would be good. At 4:30, I was the last one to drop. We made it until 7:45, and my day began in earnest.
I've been out of whack all day, due to the weird sleep patterns. I spent a good part of the day doing laundry and putting away toys in preparation for the kids going to stay with Grandma and me heading to BlogHer.
Can I just confess that deciding what to wear to BlogHer has been a huge issue? Oh, the hand-wringing. I've been out of the workforce, and into the Target clearance racks for years. Sheeit, I've been in maternity or nursing clothes for most of the last six years, and now, insult to injury, I am sporting the bonus 40 pounds gained during the last pregnancy, that won't just go away.
I wouldn't know style if it bit me.
I headed to the mall ALONE (orgasmic!) this last weekend to buy a few outfits and some new bras, because the last good soldier from my bra stash has suffered an inoperable underwire mutilation. Like, that suckah snapped in half when it got bent around my washer's agitator.
I've been making due with Target specials but my girls need to be supported. I headed straight for the plus-size women's store. Who knew? They had all kinds of bras in my size! I was giddy. I also scored a couple of shirts that will actually not gape open when stretched over Mt. Jenny. Wahoo!
I marched home with my bags, and tried on one of my outfits for my husband, who was struck dumb at the uh, magnitude, of my flesh zeppelins in a bra that fit properly. Yeah, apparently the bras I've been wearing have been on the unsupportive side.
As I'm typing this, I have a snotty nosed two year old sitting on my lap facing my chest, sleepily dropping paperclips into my cleavage. Hah! She just shoved the TiVo remote in for good measure. What next? A bicycle? An elephant?
Apparently, I don't have a point. I'm off to get this girl to sleep and then hopefully steal a few winks of my own.
Comments
Praying that you feel better. I know how difficult it will be to balance everything will be with hubby gone...
Posted by: Jason Berggren | July 28, 2005 4:48 AM
Oh MizzJenny. The croup. It is bad. SO bad. And it always hits in the middle of the night. Poor little monkey. I went through that a few months back. I never thought my child could make that sound. Wishing you SLEEEP. LOTS OF SLEEEP. SLEEEEEP MIZJENNY. SLEEEEEEEEEP. Garner your strength missy. We have lots of hobnobbing and drinking to do. I think the lack of sleep will only highlight your eyes and cause you be be even just smidge wittier than ever..
Can't wait to see the new clothes too..
Posted by: Meghan | July 28, 2005 7:28 AM
OMG. I am laughing my butt off about the paperclips and remote stuffed in your clevage. As one big busted girl to another, I can so relate. Anyone looking for Jimmy Hoffa should probably check my bra.
I too use the tv to get the albuterol in them. Anything you can do, I always say. the allergist told me that if they are crying, they actually get ore into their lungs. So I don't sweat it to much if they are unhappy.
I wish I could go to BlogHer with you. Maybe next year!
Posted by: Carmen | July 28, 2005 7:51 AM
Heh. My delightful other half has a method of indicating when he's just spotted cleavage worth the notice (he's a tits man through and through) and the key word of the phrase also indicates the magnitude of the cleavage.
It starts with "Anyone got a penny", moves on to "Anyone got a pound" (pound coins here in the UK), one or two have been honoured with "Anyone got a dubloon" and the most memorable of all, an immensely chested woman who had managed to get them looking like a shelf on top, and looked as if she was in danger of having several eyes out with them...
"Dear (that's me), do you have your piggy bank handy?"
MEN!
Lost of hugs for you and the munchkins.
Posted by: Kitty | July 28, 2005 8:09 AM
Ugh, croup is no fun.
And I feel ya on chest, just bought myself a couple of new bras and it's amazing what a little support can do for DDs, soon to be DDDs.
Posted by: A.K. | July 28, 2005 8:11 AM
DRESSY & NICE new clothes? Yeah...I had to do that a few weeks ago. But I'm with you on new bras. Dang! After having kids I think we all need some SUPPORT in that area.
Posted by: Grace | July 28, 2005 8:34 AM
What's the mall like by yourself? I don't remember anymore.
Posted by: Philip | July 28, 2005 4:50 PM
You never cease to crack me up! Sorry your kids aren't better yet. I hope you have a great time at the BlogHer. Just out of curiosity, do you have to purchase your own domain name to do the mommy blog thing, or can I just head over to xanga or blogspot? This mom thing is getting weirder by the day, and I think some mommyblogging is in order.
Posted by: Rachelle | July 28, 2005 8:37 PM
I lament the fact that nursing did NOT bless me with greater cleavage. Those kids sucked me dry. I actually cried last time I bought a bra, as I had to buy an 'A.' Not since jr. high...
Have so much fun at BlogHer. Enough for all of us who are longing to be there with you!
Posted by: buffi | July 28, 2005 8:48 PM
I'm hoping to do the shopping thing late August/early September, just before we leave on our cruise. I need something spiffy for formal night, and I'm working out at Curves every chance I get, hoping to fit into something smaller.
Oh, and I get to do the single mommy thing next week. Dh is headed to Washington, DC, for a conference and will be gone a week. :oP
Posted by: Karen | July 28, 2005 9:05 PM
Where I live, there are severely limited shopping options. Anyone with decent size boobs has to order bras in, or just wear cheapo ones. So when I was down south on vacation earlier this month, I stocked up on bras. Like, 2 years worth, since I won't get down again for awhile. The sales lady was almost orgasmic.
If the croupy one still isn't better, try putting a few drops of euchalyptis oil (it isn't spelled like that, I know) in a pot of steaming hot water. Make a tent and breathe it in. Always worked for me when I had bronchitis.
Posted by: Tammy/averagemom | July 28, 2005 10:30 PM
I've been sweating it about what to wear to BlogHer, too, and did not get in gear to buy new stuff. Despite my frumy wardrope, I'm so excited about it, and hope to get a chance to introduce myself to you there.
Posted by: nina | July 28, 2005 11:36 PM
YAY!! I know how great it feels with a new bra and clothes that fit you right!!
Come to think of it, I need a new one too. Maybe I will get lucky and be able to get one this weekend!!
I hope you are all sleeping peacefully!!
Posted by: Trish | July 29, 2005 12:00 AM
don't you hate those all-nighters? I always feel dead the next day.
Posted by: M | July 29, 2005 6:53 AM
Ahh good ole' cleavage storage. I keep my drivers license, credit cards and extra binkies stuffed down in there...just in case of emergency, ya know? My youngest (the one for whom I keep the binkies, no they aren't for me!!), always chooses inopportune times to search for her "Bee" down my boobage...like when the Home Owners Association guy is standing at the door!!
Posted by: Shanonn | July 29, 2005 10:40 AM