D'ya Think?
"I have a hard time believing that the kids consume enough food to sustain themselves." My husband just told me this, right after I announced that I had no idea what gourmet dinner I would be placing in front of the family tonight.
It does seem that our children don't eat more than a bite of any given entree, and usually under protest. I try to serve one item that is reliable (but not guaranteed, you understand, accounting for random fickleness and mood swings) in the edible department.
1) frozen peas
2) frozen corn
3) frozen blueberries*
4) pasta with butter and parmesean cheese
5) broccoli
6) avocado slices
7) cheese**
8) french bread
9) pickles and/or olives
10) eggs***
11) sliced apples (no skins or seeds)
12) toast
13) rice with soy sauce
14) chicken
15) watermelon****
*only my youngest child
**no swiss or any variety of soft cheese. If indvidually wrapped processed cheese food, it must remain sealed in cellophane until the child screams in frustration and orders me to open it. If I attempt to open first, I must eat the tainted slice.
***only when requested, and cooked to order. Also, child must break eggshells and/or whisk eggs furiously, scattering slime all over the place.
****only my girls. My son won't touch it. He would rather die. In fact, except for the 300 times he's eaten AND ENJOYED watermelon before, he's certain that he's died, like, twice.
So, my dinner options are rather limited. Sure, I branch out, try new things. Or normal, adult type things anyway, like foods that don't come pre-formed into star shapes. And they will eat them. Or inhale their stink and declare them unfit for child consumption.
I end up cooking lots of scrambled eggs these days, since someone is always dying of hunger because I didn't make a kid friendly meal an hour before. Can someone please tell me how chocolate chip pancakes and strawberries are NOT kid food?
Anyway, eggs are my default "eat this" food when the kids come whining at bedtime. Or a spoonful of peanut butter. Although once I made my oldest choke down an entire banana, despite her protests that one bite was enough and she was no longer staaaaaaaaaar-ving.
My husband says, "We are using up a lot of eggs lately. We need to get a chicken."
Yes. That is the answer. We need one solitary chicken, so that I may harvest a fresh egg every day or so, which will totally meet the needs of our family of five. Goodness. Why didn't I think of it before?
Why stop there? Let's get a cow, too! Then I can provide fresh milk each morning.
Or not. Because the kids apparently only need air and water to survive. Why go crazy, you know?
Comments
Lily has just started to be a food freak. The one bite diet is HIGHLY popular around here. My favorite is the WHINE for eggs/cereal/banana/etc which she must have NOW and then she eats one freaking bite and says, "no."
Grrrr...
Posted by: Elaine | August 3, 2005 5:30 PM
I declared years ago that I would not be a short-order cook. My now-7-year-old knows where the peanut butter and bread are stored just in case of emergency. ;)
Posted by: Heather | August 3, 2005 5:44 PM
Yes, the "gotta have, gotta have, gotta have... ONE BITE" phenomenon sends me right to the edge some nights. I have been known to force feed the occasonal banana or yogurt cup myself. Perhaps we need a support group.
Posted by: buffi | August 3, 2005 8:30 PM
You are either way nicer or a lot less lazy than me. I would never cook them anything.
When my kids come complain they are hungry after turning down nearly decent food, I say "tough" and chortle as I eat my Otter Pop, since I finished my dinner.
I am already setting aside extra money since they will place me in a nursing home at the first chance.
Posted by: Lisa V | August 3, 2005 9:22 PM
You have several kids. You have a lot to do so you have to make things work. We're not all that different. Often, instead of having a spaghettit day, or chicken day, we'll have a spaghetti week. It's gets boring but I understand how much my wife does during the day to keep our family together. You have my respect and support. Moms rock!
Posted by: Jason Berggren | August 4, 2005 4:47 AM
I am sooo jealous. I wish my kids ate that much. It's amazing how much junk they can stuff in their mouths, but healthy food...no way!
My boys don't eat any vegetables. I insist that they all eat at least one vegetable at dinner. So they do me a favour and eat one piece of cucumber. Noah will only eat it if the seeds and skin is removed. Dahlia is a little more willing to eat other veggies like carrots and peppers, but it's a struggle.
I used to make a meal for them and a meal for us. That has changed. Who has time? I always have something at each meal that I know they will eat. But if they don't eat...then they can go hungry.
I've also told them to enjoy the snacks...because once school starts they are going to be able to choose one snack for lunches (it will be shared amoung the 3) and once it's done that's all for the week. I'll let you know how it works! :-)
Posted by: MorahMommy | August 4, 2005 8:36 AM
Your chicken and cow comments had me snortling out loud.
A spoonful of peanut butter is my default snack.
Posted by: Stephanie C. | August 4, 2005 8:54 AM
Last night WWIII broke out because I made enchiladas. Everyone ate it fine but the 9 yr old. He sat there for almost two hours! In the middle of it he tried to run to the bathroom because he had to pee right this minute but he was trying to spit his food out! I busted him.
Every night it's like that with him. My four year doesn't like spicy foods because he had reflux for so long he is scared to puke. That I understand. Not wanting to eat becuase you don't want to chew is a whole different story.
The rule here is; you don't eat dinner you don't eat. The two year old gets PB&J if he doesn't eat because I can't force him. I don't have a lot of problems with the other ones just the 9 yr old.
Posted by: jenni | August 4, 2005 10:58 AM
I laughed so hard about the cow and the chicken. Just one chicken? right. Because the cost to feed and house and the time to clean up after the chicken are worth the $$ you would save buying the eggs. Men!
And then I read Lisa V's comment and laughed some more.... I was just thinking last night that my kids are going to try to commit me the first chance they get for food depravation, because I, like her, laugh and flaunt my cherished dessert in their faces because I did, in fact, eat all of my dinner without complaint. I hold tight to that Gerber commercial where it says their stomaches are only the size of their fists... if so, then the one graham cracker they ate 5 minutes before dinner should hold them over until Christmas and everything is therefor hunky dory and no immediate starvation will insue. There are no special meals in my house because you didn't eat your dinner. You want special meals, you get a job and hire a chef. (did I mention my OLDEST is 3?)
Posted by: wendy | August 4, 2005 2:23 PM
OMG, I could have written this. Funny you mention eggs, because that's about the only thing they'll eat now. And several months ago you couldn't get them to eat eggs if their lives depended on it. I have all these toddler cookbooks and they have all kinds of stuff I would eat, but my girls have yet to be impressed with ANYTHING but eggs and pb&j sandwiches. It is so goddamn frustrating.
Posted by: Angela Henderson | August 5, 2005 2:48 PM
I just found your blog (thanks, Fussy). I was needing me a funny blog with more than one kid in it. I have three, all of whom eat different stuff. Luckily, the two youngest are currently enamored of frozen veggie chicken nuggets. High protein! No cooking! Hooray!
Posted by: Deana | August 6, 2005 8:41 AM