It's The Age
I have been comparing notes with other mothers at my kids' school, and have discovered that all of our children have been busted (um-bah!) for transgressions this week. Since we are all relatively new mothers to the school game, we have been talking amongst ourselves about the strict rules and the need for such.
For example, while we were doing our trial runs to the school, we stopped to play at the playground on campus. We met up with several other families, and the kids ran wild while the mothers chatted. I asked my daughter to climb up on the monkeybars and hang upside down for me, and she refused.
"No. It is against the rules. A couple of kids have broken their arms so the school doesn't let us do it."
All the mothers started making clucking noises and shaking their heads.
"Against the rules..."
"I'm so sure..."
"How can they restrict play like that?"
"They are more worried about lawsuits..."
Flash forward to the second day of school. One of the children playing with us on that day climbed up on the monkey bars, flipped himself upside-down, fell off and broke his arm.
"Oh. Ummm..."
"I guess they have that rule for a reason."
"I thought the arm breaking thing was a story."
"They were right to restrict that kind of play."
Some of the other things our children have gotten in trouble for:
Unable to stop talking in class.
Barking (and clapping!)like a seal while the teacher was trying to teach.
Licking a glue stick.
Neighing like a horse and galloping on the playground after the bell has rung.*
*Okay, this is one of those ones that we clucked and tsk tsked about. When recess ends, before the kids are allowed to walk to their classes, they must freeze on the playground. It goes like this:
Bell rings.
Everyone freezes. All balls must be held. (heh)
After 30 seconds or so, the yard duties blow whistles.
The kids walk back to class. No running!
It seemed overly controlling. Why, back in MY day, kids just ran, willy-nilly, onto the blacktop. We bounced balls (and probably got busted by the yard-dogs, but whatever.) We didn't have no stinkin' namby-pamby rules.
Come to think of it, this is probably why there were at least two or three kids every recess who got hurt and/or ended up crying. It was anarchy, people. And we LIKED IT.
Not at our school, no siree. Watching those kids freeze at the end of recess brings a little tear to my eye...
A tear OF JEALOUSY. How I want to get a bell installed in my house! I want to use benching as a punishment. I want a whistle. Ooh! Maybe some Von Trapp sailor suits from the pre-Maria years.
I want precision and orderly conduct! I want routine! I... ah, who am I kidding. I am not a precision gal. I'm spaztastic.
But believe you me, I so want to train the kids to freeze everytime they hear the doorbell. Yeah! When things get a little out of control, I can just open the front door and give the bell a ringie-dingie! Maybe I can get a remote for the bell. Or, hell, just carry a little bell in my pocket. Pavlovian Conditioning, baby.
Comments
As long as you don't dress the kids in butt-ugly curtains from the post-Maria years, I'm okay with it. Oh, and does Target have bells? Just wondering....
Posted by: buffi | September 3, 2005 11:34 AM
If you figure out a way to make it work please let me know!
I, for one, am wanting to buy those dog collars that shock the dogs when they bark and put them on my kids to stop the constant yelling. Not like it would kill them, right?
Posted by: chris | September 3, 2005 1:19 PM
I work on the playground at our school and short of stabbing people, the kids can pretty much play however they want to. We have had no broken arms, legs, necks, etc...balls?...as far as I know. When the bell rings, the kids run willy nilly to their respective classroom lines, then stand quietly (?) until their teacher comes to get them. It works well...I too wish I had a bell at home! Don't know if neighing is against the rules.
Posted by: baseballmom | September 3, 2005 3:08 PM
You are SO reminding me of Dana Carvey's Grumpy Old Man character. And I say that with utmost respect, you know!
In this litigious age, merely breathing the wrong way could land someone in court. So I kind of understand where the schools are coming from with their strict interpretation of The Rules.
Still, in the overall scheme of Life, The Universe and Everything, it seems patently ridiculous. We're not letting our kids be kids, and that'll backfire somewhere down the line.
No, wait, it already is.
Posted by: Carmi | September 3, 2005 6:58 PM
You should market that bell thing. I'll be your first customer!
Posted by: Jen | September 3, 2005 11:23 PM
You know - I actually did have my worst limb breaking accident doing a penny drop off of the monkey bars.. right after my parents got married - one day after my mom had appendicitis. Dad was inducted into our world - trial by fire. I fell from the monkey bars and had a compound fracture - I was in traction for the ENTIRE SUMMER!!!
Aside from that - I think I might get a whistle.. go ahead and start training Faith NOW.
Posted by: Holli | September 4, 2005 8:09 AM
My daughter got in trouble for calling another girl a silly goose.. Her teacher told her that was a bad word. Umm.. it is?
Posted by: heather | September 4, 2005 6:27 PM
licking a glue stick? hahahahah. the rules are insane.
Posted by: cmhl | September 5, 2005 12:24 PM
They are anal retentive with the rules at my sons school, and the kids also try to police each other after school. I tell my son, "Do you see any teachers here? Then go ahead, be a kid, run up the slide." Hey- he'll be following plenty of rules for the rest of his life and.... You're only young once.
Posted by: clickmom | September 5, 2005 2:02 PM
Gosh...I ought to run my house with an iron fist like that...seriously what happened to school yard fun and the freedom of childhood?
Posted by: aussiemama | September 5, 2005 7:29 PM
Wow - I don't think my kids' elementary school was that tough, and that was just four years ago. (Although they did have a strict rule about not bringing pencils and pens on the playground, which my son somehow forget, and fell off the monkey bars and stabbed himself with the pencil in his pocket. It bled a lot; one little boy passed out when he saw it. Fortunately, 'twas just a flesh wound, although the school nurse assured me she'd never encountered anything like it in all her years of service.)
Posted by: Melanie Lynne Hauser | September 6, 2005 5:39 AM
My son got into trouble last year for cutting his own hair at school. The best part? WE NEVER NOTICED that he had done it. He told my mother-in-law WEEKS later, and his teacher confirmed it. But we couldn't tell! Because we're horrible parents!
And really, who cares? It's his hair.
Posted by: Susan | September 6, 2005 11:02 AM
They do the whistle blow/everybody freezes thing at our school too. Too funny.
Posted by: Marcia | September 6, 2005 11:21 AM
And to think that our playgroup--all the monkey bars, the slide, the paralell bars--was on top of a concrete slab...
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