The Top Of The List
I winced towards home after school on Thursday, my oldest peppering the van with a barrage of ideas. She's got a lot to say, this six and a half year old girl of mine. While I can appreciate her enthusiasm, not to mention her singlemindedness, I have been over talking about her next birthday party plans for months.
Considering her birthday isn't until March 2006, I don't know if I'll survive the itemization of the party theme du jour. I mean, first it was all about having a "Mexican Fiesta" featuring themed costumes for all of us, and the guests, cacti in terra cotta planters, a troupe of ballet folklorico dancers, a mariachi band, and a pinata shaped like a unicorn, and let us not forget lots of sombrero shaped chip and salsa bowls. Oh! And my husband and son will be dressed in "Mexican Waiter" outfits circulating among the guests with "tid-bits" on big platters so that the guests get plenty to eat. (Presumably, I will be in the kitchen cranking out the tidbits. Joy.)
Then we had the whole swimming party theme. Personalized towels for each guest, anyone? Synchronized swimmers? I didn't think that was over the top at all, do you? Snacks would be served in plastic baggies to minimize splashing damage to crunchy snacks. Clever, huh? Huh?
Now we've moved onto a slumber party event.
Nanananananananana I can't hear you nanananananananananana
This same level of detail and planning is currently going into her future plans. Naturally, she's going to be a farmer, so that she can have a whole shiny fleet of animals that I currently won't allow her to have, because I am irrationally against farm animals and also cruel.
Yes, she's going to be a farmer, and a veterinarian, which will be handy, what with all those animals she's going to have. She's also going to be a horse trainer, and kids are going to pay her $300 a lesson to learn to ride on her farm. She is going to be WORLD FAMOUS for her mad horse teachin' skills.
Anyway, I knew about all this, and about how her brother is going to own the land across the road from her, and he's going to have a general store, feed store and horse emporium right there, so she doesn't have to go far to get her horses or supplies. This is all her idea, by the way. He's still into the paleontologist thing. I say to him, "Run, my son. Run to the regions where dino bones may be found! Run like the wind, lest you find yourself a shopkeeping slave to your sister!"
We live in the suburbs, but are surrounded by farm areas. Every vacant lot of land, or long driveway with a for sale sign that we pass, my girl is on me. "Let's buy it! That looks perfect for my ranch!"
nanananananananananana I can't hear you nananananananananananana
So, anyway, she launched into the whole "when I grow up" thing in the car, but this time, she added "I'm going to be a famous movie star, and so many people are going to come out to my ranch to interview me and see me ride my horses!"
"How are you going to take care of all your animals if you are so busy being a famous movie star?" I hid my smile.
"Obviously, I'm going to hire my brother to come over with his construction trucks to take care of all the animals." I looked into the rear view mirror, to see my son nodding along with this plan.
"His construction trucks?" I am curious.
"Yes, because first he's going to build the ranch, and then he's going to take care of the animals while I'm being interviewed. I'll make him a big list. First thing: Shovel the pig poop."
Run, boy. Run.
Comments
Well, if she's a movie star, she can afford to pay him a hefty salary. Let her know that I'll put my name down on the waiting list - I'll shovel pig poop if the money's right.
Posted by: Julie | October 15, 2005 7:54 PM
Look, she's got things all in order.
First job, teach a man to shovel the big poop.
Second job...what does it matter???
Posted by: Nopoodle | October 15, 2005 8:21 PM
I am dying. Dying! Same song, different verse. So good to know that I don't have the only daughter with a myriad of lofty plans and/or the only little brother who's only too happy to sign up for indentured servitude.
Posted by: Mir | October 15, 2005 8:45 PM
I love the logic and thought process of kids. My nephew wanted to build a house behind Culver's cause it's the closest restaraunt to us but has since changed his mind since it closed and now it's an Italian place. Well that and he lives in Minneapolis now down the road from Taco Bell. MMmm Taco Bell. Anyway, ya got a smart girl there. High school should be fun. Good luck! =0)
Posted by: Trish | October 15, 2005 10:40 PM
I think when she hits 18 she'll realize that when it comes to pig poop shoveling, it's every man/woman for himself/herself. :P
Posted by: Big Gay Sam | October 16, 2005 1:36 AM
My son's birthday is in March and he is starting to plan it as well. I think that he actually started to plan it the day after his birthday.
Posted by: Chrissy | October 16, 2005 8:53 AM
That's hilarious. Now the question is: is she turning out just like her mommy? *grin*
Posted by: Philip | October 16, 2005 9:04 AM
Ahhhhh my little protege! She has your imagination, my organizational skills, her Dad's mechanical abilities, her aunt's desire to be famous, her Grandpa's love of critters and the ability to get others to support her dreams...WOW!
Posted by: Three Kid Circus Grandma | October 16, 2005 9:20 AM
Oh, that sounds just like my 7 year old twins. They're going to be the owners of Sea World, and veterinarians, and they are going to have a limo, that they take turns driving, because what's the fun of having a limo if you can't drive it?
Good luck with the birthday party! Ugh. I hear sleepover, and I feign sudden hearing loss.
Posted by: Theresa | October 16, 2005 9:24 AM
I think it's great that your daughter has such a rich eye for detail! I know one of my sons wants to be a paleontolgist too, the other wants to be a rock star, but they haven't put that much thought into it.
Maybe you could suggest an exciting and lucrative career as a party planner to your daughter. The ones who put together parties for celebrities and rich people-they get paid a ton!
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 16, 2005 4:03 PM
I, too am a mean mom who will not buy more animals, I guess the chocolate lab, parakeet, lizard, and betta are not enough. WELL, the other night we were watching "Animal Cops", and lo-and-behold they were raiding the homes of sicko animal collectors who had hundreds of dogs and cats. Luckily my 9-year-old was watching too, and I could say, "See Tyler, that's why mommy won't buy any more pets." It seems to have worked for now!
Posted by: baseballmom | October 16, 2005 6:52 PM
Dude, she's a mini-you!!!!!!! The girl has the most amazing imagination & creative plans. I LOVE HER, just as much as I love you, Jenbo.
MWAH!
xoxoox Ging
PS -- Can you believe our oldest kids are almost 7?!?!??!
Posted by: Ging | October 16, 2005 6:52 PM
SugarPlum wants to be a hurricane hunter. Bear says he will be the pilot of her airplane. Not a lot of earning potential, quite honestly. Maybe I can talk her into the whole movie star/rancher thing. Sounds like it will pay for a much nicer nursing home.
Posted by: buffi | October 16, 2005 7:56 PM
Totally off topic - I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte this evening. Would probably never have tried it had you not written about it. I owe you a debt of grrrrrratitude, 'cause they're grrrrrreat! And no caffeine. None at all...
Posted by: Dawn | October 16, 2005 8:02 PM
Oh, honey...I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn't. The 11 year old will NOT quit talking and she's old enough to take the d*** duct tape off!
My only advice is to enjoy the innocuous babbling before it becomes who is who's boyfriend and who she has a crush on this week while you're quietly tearing out your hair and wondering if you could possibly turn back the clock to what she wants to be when she grows up, though thank God, she's still talking to you and isn't a complete teenager YET!
Posted by: Jen | October 19, 2005 8:58 AM