Bedtime Defense
I put the kids to bed tonight at their appointed hour, despite their best arguments. Not tired? Too bad! Thirsty? You may have one sip of water from this bottle I have right here. You may not pass go, you may not watch SpongeBob. I am so tough!
As I left their rooms, I imagined arming a sophisticated, laser-controlled system that would ensure the kids would stay in bed. Pressure sensitive floor, perhaps some ion cannons that track movement... that would be awesome! Blast their little buns right back into bed!
I watched Tomb Raider
Now excuse me, while I take my eggnog and direct my children back to their beds for the 900th time. (I really need some ion cannons.)
Comments
Is the eggnog spiked? Let 'em sip that. Then they'll stay in bed!
Posted by: buffi | November 17, 2005 10:31 PM
Ohh pressure sensitive floor that would be so cool!
They just keep trying, aren't they? They should know by now that they will not win, ever, they will sleep eventually! But still they keep trying.
Come to think of it, thats not really a bad trait.
Posted by: barbex | November 18, 2005 12:52 AM
Sounds like my house. Except that with my kids, simply using words to redirect them is not effective. It means I actually have to pause the movie, lug my heavy body off the sofa, prance around on tiptoe until
I find my warm slippers, then walk into their rooms. I know, deep in my heart, that raising my voice will not be any more effective, but sometimes I try it anyway.
Posted by: Erin | November 18, 2005 4:54 AM
Ooh - a pressure sensitive floor that triggered a robotic arm that would snatch the kids on the way out of their room and put them back in their beds. That would be ideal. *sigh*
Posted by: Jules | November 18, 2005 6:23 AM
If I had a technological bone in my body I would be off developing just such a system (and then making a lot of money from all us moms that just want to sit down with a bit of peace and quiet in the evenings).
Posted by: ella | November 18, 2005 8:09 AM
...I just find a real scarey movie and make the kids watch it. They tend to stay in their beds now...
Posted by: Lee | November 18, 2005 2:50 PM
ion cannons. Lmao.
Posted by: Candice | November 18, 2005 7:52 PM
You know those bungee cords left Angelina Jolie with giant bruises and scabs? Count me out, man!
I don't have any helpful tricks for getting the kids to bed, except perhaps sticking them on the treadmill about thirty minutes before bedtime.
Posted by: Sleepless Mama | November 18, 2005 8:01 PM
Hey - If you find someone to come rig one of those bungee cord/robot things up in your house, could you share the info? I really really really could use one of them. Duct taping them to the mattress is not working so well....
Posted by: Crazy Lady | November 20, 2005 8:36 PM