But Where Is Uranus?
My three-year-old cornered me in the bathroom and shoved a book in my face. Caught with my pants down, I made a few attempts to shoo her away. She wasn't having any of that.
I opened the cover, and began to read the story.
"NO! No! No! Not that page, Mommy! Read this one!" She ruffled through the pages, settling on a page with no dialog at all, but a drawing of a snail shooting through space on a fire hydrant.
I know. Who bought this book?
Anyway, she apparently just wanted me to listen to her as she thinks aloud. I obediently held the book while she pointed to the pictured heavenly bodies.
"Mommy! This is the mooooon." She tapped the book twice, and moved on to the next celestial object.
"This is Saturn. See the beautiful rings? They are so spicy and delicious. I love buffalo rings."
I smothered a laugh. "Oh! Um..."
She interrupted me, by stabbing her finger at the next orb on the page. "This is Morbius."
Another jab. "This is Twinkle Wittle Staaaaar. And that's everything in the sky."
There you have it. The universe, simplified. You're welcome.
I just upgraded to MT 3.2, so if you notice any bugs or problems, please drop me an email.
Comments
I think Uranus is close to the Massive Pale Moon...
Posted by: Erin | February 4, 2006 10:03 AM
Now you have to teach her about the "like a diamond in the sky" and have her tell daddy how much mommy loves those ;-)
Posted by: chris | February 4, 2006 12:54 PM
In honor of delurking week:
That's just downright delicious! I hope the blokes at NASA are reading this - I do believe they have a lot to learn.
Great bloggage!
Always a fan of great writing,
C.M.Chase
Posted by: C.M.Chase | February 4, 2006 1:32 PM
Delicious buffalo rings with a view of Morbius. Sounds like a pretty good date night, actually. ;)
Posted by: Mir | February 4, 2006 1:59 PM
I love it! I want to explain the stars that way to the kids I work with *g* It probably wouldn't go over too well with administration though *sigh*
*mutters* darned administration
Posted by: Erin the Innocent | February 4, 2006 3:43 PM
"This is Saturn. See the beautiful rings? They are so spicy and delicious. I love buffalo rings."
I should not have read that line while nursing a half asleep baby. Smoother a laugh or smoother a baby while bent over trying not to giggle?
Damn... woke up baby.
But at least she's still alive!
Posted by: Elaine | February 4, 2006 4:33 PM
"Uranus"?
*raises eyebrows*
Posted by: Kal | February 6, 2006 2:33 AM
Well I guess if you're going to read in the bathroom, you might as well make it educational!!
Great headline, considering the location. PFTZ!!
Posted by: holli | February 6, 2006 8:36 AM
HA! Nice! There's nothing like a break in bathroom concentration like having to read to someone else.
Hilarious!
Posted by: Lisa | February 6, 2006 10:01 AM
I used to laugh when my mother would shriek, "I can't even have privacy while I PEE!" and slam the door in mine or my brother's face. Now I know better.
And for those who have not been poked in the bare butt by a toddler saying "squish," well, you just haven't lived.
Posted by: Jenn2 | February 6, 2006 2:18 PM