Bucking The System
On Thursday, our local weather stations were reporting a chance of snow on Friday. The skies were ominous, the mercury was dropping. Although Friday dawned cold, the skies were clear.
Saturday! It would snow on Saturday! I should back up here and explain that snow happens around here, like, never. The kids were excited. We put extra comforters on the beds. And? Nothing.
In fact, we've had lovely weather all weekend. Sunny, clear, mild.
I am so not listening to the weather station any more.
I wasn't going to discuss it here, but it's sort of like dancing around the elephant in the center of the room, so wham! I'm seeing a therapist!
I've decided to see a therapist (covered under my health plan, thank goodness) to try to get to the bottom of my reluctance to take care of business around here. I've never been good at following through with things, so I figure maybe the wisdom of someone professional will help me get past whatever is making me behave like a spoiled child who doesn't want to clean her room.
I had my first appointment last week, and it was eye-opening. Apparently, I'm a fast talker! And also, my must/want/should ratios are out of balance! I also don't get enough sleep! These shocking revelations (hah!) paved the way for a discussion of how I can uncover the resistance to following through on my daily responsibilities. I feel like Jack Bauer, trying to locate the nukes/terrorists/canisters before they cause widespread mayhem.
I realized that I prefer to do things that result in a reward. I crave approval and applause. I'm thinking I need to install an applause machine. Put away that laundry, and get a standing ovation. Even better, I'm thinking that balloons need to fall from the ceiling and confetti cannons need to activate when I put the final dish in the dishwasher!
Really, that beats the heck out of rewarding myself with a fun-size snickers every time I finish a chore. Come to that, I don't even have any fun-sizes right now. Maybe THAT'S the root of the problem!
Anyway, I explained my internet addiction fascination and the therapist nodded sagely and agreed that it is very difficult to walk away, and he loses track of time when he's online too! We bonded over that. It was a trust-building moment. I think. I'm not down with the lingo just yet.
In any case, he's recommending that when I feel resistant to doing a chore, I should take a moment and journal my emotions. I need to become self-aware, you see. (Bwahahahahaha - I am having trouble playing this straight) Because yes, I totally am needing more writing in my life.
I'm confident that we can get to the bottom of my mental terrorist problem, and save the area from catastrophic casualties.
Especially since I've discovered that the weatherman is the mole.
Comments
I have the exact same issue. Why clean when I could sit on my ass and knit or blog or play with the kids or laller laller laller around in circles? Seriously, we just need enough money so I can pay someone else to do that stuff. Right? RIGHT!
Sorry, I think I'm being an enabler or something. Just tell me to go jump.
Posted by: Elaine | March 12, 2006 9:43 AM
Whoo. You are so not alone on that issue. Good for you for seeking some help with dealing with it though. I've had a couple bouts of therapy over the years, and it's been very helpful every time. I hope it's helpful for you too!
Posted by: Thorny | March 12, 2006 10:39 AM
Honey, what are we talking about here? Do you have clutter problems or are rodents taking over rooms in the house? There are many shades of clean, and I'm all for figuring those out. I'm more of a clutter person, BUT I know where everything is(of course, I'm a mom). Maybe you just need to find the right balance. I actually think it's good that my girls realize that Mommy has many sides. Good luck!
Posted by: Cory | March 12, 2006 11:34 AM
Wow. The idea of sitting with another human being who actually pays attention and listens to me for 50 minutes sounds wonderful. I hope your therapist is helpful and that you get great things out of your therapy; whatever you want, I hope you get it.
In any case, 50 minutes a week where YOU are the most important person in the room. Hey, that can not be bad.
Posted by: Mary | March 12, 2006 3:36 PM
You don't need a therapist. You need me. I'll kick your ass into next week. Apparently you didn't know that I am the MEAN FlyLady to my friends. I send them e-mails with things like "Put down those bon-bons, get off your tookis and clean up after yourself!" in the subject line. Then I give them purple pens that say "I'm proud of you".
Posted by: Mega Mom | March 12, 2006 5:01 PM
I should be meeting you there then. We could gang up on the therapist and make him see there is nothing wrong with having 10 baskets of laundry waiting to be folded and 10 more right behind them waiting to be washed or inches of dust needing extermination or toothpaste permanently sealed to the bathroom sink that really should be scraped off and that the internet is soooo much more worth our time than all that nonsense. Oh, wait, these are the issues that need resolving, right? We don't need a therapist, we need a maid!
Posted by: Kristi | March 13, 2006 8:38 AM
Okaaaay - you went to see this therapist because you are having trouble getting up and getting things done. You spend more time than you should online. He tells you that when you feel this way you should just waste more time journaling your feelings.
That's funny!! My therapist tells me to just get off my lazy dead ass and do something.
One of us definitely needs a new therapist!!! LMAO
Posted by: Debby | March 13, 2006 9:09 AM
Just a thought, would your healthcare plan cover a maid instead of the therapist. Or could you hire a maid and ask her to pretend she is a therapist if the healthcare people ask? Would they go as far as asking her for credentials?
Posted by: Lisa | March 13, 2006 12:20 PM
Gee, I thought the fun sized chocolate treat idea was unique to me?! Clean toilet - have chocolate! Clean bath - have chocolate! Clean mirror - have fit because streaks-r-us (and for some reason, I care), have chocolate due to high stress level, then lie down to allow calm to return. Have 4 hour nap, have chocolate!
Hang in there, and maybe consider a cleaning service once a month?It worked for me, as NOTHING motivates quite like knowing people are coming to clean your house and you NEED TO MAKE SURE IT IS CLEAN ENOUGH FOR THEM TO SEE.
Posted by: Neodecanoic | March 19, 2006 2:54 PM