You know what you should do? You probably do. You should totally stay away from me this week because I've become crazy, and also boastful, and I'm fully expecting a lightning bolt to strike my smug ass any second now.

This is free advice, people. I give, because I love.

Seriously - on Saturday, the husband and I took the three kids to the pool. It was fun. There was no screaming or tantrums. The kids listened. The angels sang. Seriously.

Who snuck into my house and gave my kids good behavior juice? I mean, come on. I'm ALWAYS the mother who ends up dragging a limp, wailing kid back into the car. I'm always the one with the mouth in constant motion.

"Stop, don't run, come back, don't jump. Wait, come here. No, not there. Stop. Please, for the love of God get over here and, and, no. Get up off the cement. No, stop crying right now miss thang. Do you want to go home? Do you?"

But Saturday - it was all good. I decided to laugh in the face of danger and signed all three kids up for swimming lessons at the local swim center. The youngest has swimming in the morning, and then the older two have lessons at the witching hour before dinner. Again, I'm usually the mother who hovers at the edge of the pool.

"Get back over with your class. Listen. Listen to your teacher. Sit down. Keep your head above water. Get back on the wall. Hey! You wanna go home? Do you?"

Ah, good times. Great times! Man, am I going to miss doing that. Because get this: the kids? They are listening. They are paying attention. They keep their heads above the water and dunk on command. They blow bubbles. Even my youngest does. Holy moly. Instead of trying to keep my sense of humor while feeling the glares of the other parents burning a hole in my back, I am basking in the sun and working on my base tan.

Who are these children? And also, woooooo!

I'm sacrificing my last bar of chocolate on the altar of the parenting gods right now. Because this is too good to be true, and I'm feeling like I'm due for a heavy smiting.

Also! Get yourselves away from here, and go see my new digs on ClubMom! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll call me BigSlice and we'll all have a good laugh about it! http://bigslice.clubmom.com - bookmark it, and tell your friends.