Warhammer of Righteousness
I should have know that I'd never change him, this husband of mine. When we first started dating, I welcomed the leisurely Saturdays spent alone, reading or shopping while he packed up his backpack full of Magic: The Gathering cards and headed down to the local comic book store to participate in tournaments with a bunch of mangy guys in their thirties, and a handful of tweens. He'd come home dejected, having had his ass handed to him by some nine year old. Once he won a teeshirt. Oh glorious victory! He still wears it.
I guess I can't spend too much time smirking, since in the quest to be all interested in his interests and stuff (ah, young love) I actually played in a few MTG tourneys as well. I had nicknames for all the mangy guys. SB - that was stinky breath. Twitcher? That was SB's brother. So on and so forth. Gah. I never won a teeshirt, and I'm totally fine with that.
Later, Ultima Online stole his Saturdays away from me. I think I can still whistle the theme music from good old UO. My intelligent, handsome husband spent hours at a time doing things like (virtually) chopping wood and (virtually) rearranging his backpacks and (virtually) decorating his house. He spent hours on some little (virtual) atoll, killing trolls or the like by (virtually) summoning, yeah, that's right - I'm down with the lingo - a dust devil or something. It was maddening.
Now, though. World of Warcraft is his new love. I'm a Widow of Warcraft, people, but I'm not going down without a fight.
In a touching display of affection, my husband named a WOW character after me. A female dwarf, to be specific. I don't get to be a statuesque babe in the game, no. I'm the character equivilent of a hacky sack. I'm flattered all to hell, let me tell you. He tells me he doesn't play her much. Again. Flattered!
He has his computer set up in the garage, and his friend frequently joins him to play World of Warhell with him. I should ask his friend if he's got a dwarf named for his wife, too. Maybe he named a troll. Wouldn't surprise me.
Actually, what suprised me is overhearing my husband talking on his nerdy little headset to the guys he was playing with that he "had to go, dudes, to prevent wife aggro."
WIFE AGGRO. Fear my dwarf wrath! I'm going wife aggro on your asses with my warhammer of righteousness! I will swing my stumpy arms up to the power strip and end this right now! You think it's annoying when the servers are down? I'll show you Widow of Warcraft Aggro, and you will know real (not virtual) fear.
Anyone want to join my guild? We can interrupt quests with summons to dinner and random household tasks to be accomplished. Sound like fun?
:
Add the following code to your "Journal - Entry Content" template (for more instructions, see the following guide):
Replace the { Insert your URL here } below with the URL of your page:
|
Comments
I'm crying with laughter and recognition, Jenny. I'm also totally stealing the term "Wife Aggro" and making the HP (husband) read this post. (I met the HP gaming; he was the real deal, I the poseur.)
Posted by: HG | May 5, 2006 11:11 AM
I will never complain about the VW bus parts or Bug-O-Rama weekend again. I swear.
Posted by: Jenn2 | May 5, 2006 11:37 AM
Can you PLEASE call my wife and tell her that my blogging 18 hours a day isn't nearly as bad as playing WoW...
Posted by: ben | May 5, 2006 2:27 PM
i'm just bwah hah hah-ing remembering how confused, bewildered, and well, frightened the boyfriend-now-husband was when i went all Guild Wars Aggro on him when he tried to break a date with me to (virtually) meet his (virtual) guild online. wooo! i bet i could've cast a firebolt or two then.
he's behaving again for now, but hell, sign me up for your Guild of Aggro (Virtual) Widows. if only they realised that the sexual deprivation caused by extensive gaming just makes us MORE aggro...
Posted by: hadashi | May 5, 2006 10:39 PM
What will the t-shirts look like?
Posted by: VenturaMom | May 6, 2006 8:09 AM
Jenny, in honor of your suffering, I bestow upon you this gift: Cassieclaire's The Secret Diary of Arwen Undomiel. You are two of a kind...
Posted by: Lisa Stone | May 6, 2006 9:05 AM
Oh dear. I'd really like to laugh and point fingers, but I've been Ratchet and Clanked three different times by my husband.
Nothing like waking up alone in bed at three a-m because your husband's on Playstation...
Posted by: Lucinda | May 6, 2006 6:55 PM
I share your WOW pain, sistah. Hubster knows better than to make characters outta me though. He'd be served a virtual dinner, on a virtual platter. HA! :)
Posted by: Cookie | May 7, 2006 4:28 PM
Wife Aggro...lolololololol
I'm sure the huz says stuff like that about me, too, but he better never let me hear it or his virtual sleep will be happening in a very real doghouse.
Thanks for the chuckle :)
Posted by: Izzy | May 9, 2006 10:13 AM
Wife Aggro is great; I need to use that term when my husband spends too much time at work or golfing.
Posted by: Margaret | May 9, 2006 6:50 PM
Mine doesn't do tournaments, but he's that kind of guy. Mostly he invents and builds "projects." And he's not kidding when he refers to a project or activity's "Spousal Acceptance Factor." Not quite as good as Wife Aggro, but that's what he means.
Posted by: Andrea | May 10, 2006 1:27 PM
Oh yeah my ex played SOF II. It was hell. Hence the EX part.
Posted by: Danielle | May 10, 2006 2:02 PM
Wish I could laugh but only want to cry. How many of us are there out there?!?!?
We have a twin monitor system set up here at home & as I type this, my hubby's character is sitting in the pub on the other screen while some freaky looking goblin character checks him out from the other side of the screen. I'm only able to steal 5 minutes at the computer because he got up to make a coffee. I tried to organise a couple's night out with my cousin & her husband tonight but her husband was busy, he had lined up to play WOW with his brother in law in QLD. So I am leaving my husband at home & going to my cousins house anyway. The boys are going to play from their respective houses & she & I are going to enjoy cheesecake & champagne & hold our first NON-Virtual Widows of Warcraft meeting. Our REAL cheesecake will taste a hell of a lot better than their VIRTUAL beer!!
Posted by: Diana Phillips | May 20, 2006 1:48 AM