Counting The Days
It's my first Monday as a woman in possession of three children on summer break. I might not make it until Tuesday.
I've planned: Complete cleaning, top to bottom, of my entire home and yard.
Reality: Turning the hose repeatedly on the kids to clean off popsicle juice.
I've planned: Fun, festive picnics at the park.
Reality: The kids are eating the food directly out of the grocery bags as I attempt to put it into the cupboards. There will be no food for the picnic.
I've planned: Inflating our giant wading pool and parking poolside with a slushy fruit drink.
Reality: Well, here's the pump, but the hose is missing. Oh wait. Here's the hose, but it belongs to a different pump. Where's the nozzle? Screw this. Turn on the hose and spray kids again.
I've got a whole slew of ideas for the long, empty weeks ahead. I was chatting with the very funny HG this morning about our Fat Fallacy diet progress, our broods and their tendencies to go all Lord of the Flies when left alone for a few minutes.
HG: Heh - it's a shame you live across the country. We could eat in a civilized manner while turning all of our kids into the back yard and then watching them duke it out Lord of the Flies manner. Riight. Sorry kids, stop picking at your food. Right
Jenny: Hahaha. Its Lord of the Flies in my living room, right this minute. I have the conch! No, I have the conch! Mine! My conch!
moments later...
Jenny: Hee! Shoot, I think the kids just threw Piggy off the cliff. I better get in there and break it up. MY CONCH!
You know, it's all fun and games until one of the little power-hungry savages slays one of the other savages. Yes, it seems my idealistic summer plans are better executed by an organized, motivated person. I'm rapidly changing my goals to seeing how often I can spray the kids with the hose and devising a point-system for direct hits vs. limb hits.
Comments
There's a woman whose blog I read, she won't read The Lord of the Flies because it's too violent. I think all mothers should read this book, it's very helpful in dealing with the day to day of summer vacation. Or the day to day in general.
We've had Lord of the Flies here. It was all quiet and peaceful but the boy came home from band camp - he's been home 30 minutes and someone's head is on a spear.
Fun stuff.
Posted by: Denise | June 19, 2006 1:00 PM
I always knew there was a reason they made us read that book in high school! It really was to prepare us for the real world!
Posted by: R*Belle | June 19, 2006 5:23 PM
You know, your post here really made me think about how my mom did it all with the three of us and only her income. new persepctive I guess now that I have one and feel like I am drowning a lot. Thank you!
And thanks for stopping by my blog!
Posted by: Peanut's Mom | June 19, 2006 9:30 PM
I hope your summer vacation goes well. I think the word, "boring", when used by children is an invitation for the person in charge to help them not be bored (clean your room, mow the lawn, etc.) If I never taught my kids anything else, I taught them not to say that work in my presence.
Cas
I'd love to be bored once in a while. I would call it "leisure"
Posted by: cassie-b | June 20, 2006 4:59 AM
I hated Lord of the Flies, but I just realized how relevant it is to my daily life with my children! :)
I was watching the two of them the other day, jumping on the trampoline while the sprinkler was underneath it spraying up on them. I was weighing the cost of my water bill (yikes!) to the peace of my children playing together for a few precious minutes without bickering and fighting. The water stayed on.
Posted by: Tonya | June 20, 2006 7:36 AM
I too have a grand plan for the summer. It is as follows:
1) Do not kill children.
2) Keep house from being condemned.
3) Do not slay husband with death ray look when he comes home and proclaims it was a sucky day.
I'll make a suggestion here. Feel free to file it under "ass-vice." Find a friend with kids and trade 2-3 hours a week with her. Even once a month. I'm doing this and I cannot tell you how excited I am about it.
Posted by: Jenn2 | June 20, 2006 9:22 AM
Lord of the Flies! How true! Hope you're surviving day two. See you this Sunday at the cybersalon.
Posted by: Mary Tsao | June 20, 2006 10:27 AM
Our kids' last day of school is next Wednesday. I think my wife is already stockpiling the water balloons in anticipation of the day.
I've got a drawer full of bandanas, and I know I left the conch somewhere. My dog-eared copy of Lord of the Flies sits at the ready on my nightstand. I think we'll need it for inspiration.
When does year-round schooling come to my neighborhood? Who do I have to pay to make it happen sooner?
Posted by: Carmi | June 21, 2006 6:35 AM
Maybe they should just hand out The Lord of the Flies at the hospital rather than those useless baby books with marked milestones that kids (well mine at least) just look at and laugh making you feel like a completely inadequate Mummy just because they didn't manage to pick up a raisin by 8 weeks or whatever it is.
Posted by: Pewari | June 22, 2006 11:14 AM