Friends = Food
My three-year-old handed me the carton of eggs with a serious look on her face.
"Mommy. I want to have some eggs."
I grabbed the frying pan from the cupboard and slapped it on the stove top. My daughter stood behind me, nudging my thighs with the carton, the styrofoam squeaking slightly.
I had her climb up on a chair at the table, and handed her a mixing bowl and a whisk. She took out an egg and gave it a whack. I helped her pull the shell open, and we watched the golden yolk floating around in the bottom of the bowl. She cracked another, and carefully dropped it into the bowl. The two yolks stared up at us. I handed her the whisk.
I walked to the stove and turned on the heat. I didn't hear any whisking, so I stood back and watched. My girl was whispering to "da oaks" in the bowl. She was commenting on how lovely the day was, and how nice and yellow they looked today. Then she got down from the table and wandered off, singing.
I grabbed the bowl and did the honors. Two minutes later, I called her back to the table for a steaming pile of scrambled eggs.
She rounded the corner, took one look at the plate and screamed.
"You cooked my friends! You cooked my friends! Where are the OAKS? Aaaaaaaaaagh!"
This isn't the first foodstuff that has been recruited as a friend. I've found sweet potatoes tucked into the doll crib. She arranged a "family vacation" for three cans of soup.
Of course, this is the first time I've actually cooked one of her playmates.
I wonder if this is going to make it hard for me to schedule playdates for her?
Comments
That was too cute and my 18 months is all over the can goods too. Taking them hostage every where.
Posted by: Waya | October 5, 2006 11:47 AM
Ha! I haven't had that problem before, but the middle turtle has become quite attached to an empty diet coke fridge box.....
Posted by: Turtlemama | October 5, 2006 12:28 PM
Sweet potatoes? That's a crack up. What would she do with sardines?
Posted by: Michelle | October 5, 2006 2:35 PM
Hi. I read your blog all the time but have never commented. I am coming out lurkdom to comment on this entry because it reminded me of a story my mom tells all the time.
When I was around 5 I used to adopt items of food as friends. I carried around a potato named "Stew" and a carrot named "Stalk". I used a bag of marshmallows as pillows for Stew and Stan. One day my mom made baked potatoes for dinner and cried because she cooked Stan's famiy. It was about a year before she could get me to eat potatoes again. And to this day, I will not eat carrots. Baby carrots are Stalk's children! LOL.
Don't worry, I turned out somewhat normal.
Posted by: Kristina | October 5, 2006 7:50 PM
My daughter (now 8 yrs. old) used to call eggs "sweetie pies" and wanted to carry them all around the house...for days. She would talk to them, caress them, etc...It took awhile for me to convince her that all the "sweetie pies" had to live in the frig. So she made a bed for them in the frig. So sweet. Now we've moved on to a love of all things pigs...trust me I haven't told her where her morning bacon is coming from.
Posted by: Cory | October 5, 2006 8:00 PM
Many years ago I had a job working in a domestic violence shelter. On one particularly interesting day I had the task of using lice shampoo on a mildly mentally retarded six year old. When she asked what I was doing, I explained that I was using a special shampoo that would kill the bugs in her hair, at which point she began to wail: "NOOO! Don't kill the bugs! They are my FRIENDS!!!!"
So, you know, better food than bugs.
Posted by: Katy | October 5, 2006 8:27 PM
Dear Jenny,
I've only recently discovered your blog...and I have to say I LOVE IT, you are my SOULMATE, my kindred spirit, my separated-at-birth twin.....
Only, you are way more talented than me.
Plus, funnier (even though I'm purr-etty funny).
And, probably you have a vastly more interesting life.
And, lots more money.
And... you're probably adorably cute and never have to worry about your weight (except for like 2 or 3 lbs. that you have to "starve off" before a big anniversary vaction to St.Lucia or Sanibel)
And I bet you throw better parties.
But, other than that...we are EXACTLY alike!
...except I bet your kids are much better behaved.
And you're a GREAT writer, and I'm mostly a reader.
Posted by: Eve | October 5, 2006 8:50 PM
This is absolutely hilarious! It's so funny what kids will get attached to; my brother was 14 when my daughter was born, and they've always been close. When she was a year old or so, she adopted one of his shirts, and wouldn't let it out of her sight. When he tried to wear it one day, it was like world war III. Too bad your little one's new friends are perishable, I reckon that could prove smelly.
Posted by: holly | October 7, 2006 8:02 PM
that is hilarious. i was boiling M's pacifiers the other day (she'd been sick, i am not normally that neurotic)and she wanted to see what i was doing. when i lifted her up to see the pot the look on her face was of horror...
Posted by: jen | October 8, 2006 1:35 PM
That was awesome! My daughter (now 3) used to carry potatoes around calling them "My best friend potato." It was indeed cute, except when we'd find the 'lost' ones in odd places.
Posted by: Cindy K. | October 10, 2006 6:17 AM
The other week my oldest named two houseflies and annoounced that we now had pets. ahh, imagination!
Posted by: Sarah | October 13, 2006 11:27 AM