Are you tracking Santa? We are: http://www.noradsanta.org/index.php

Also, remember how my parents were hosting a no-gifts get-together for Christmas? Yeah?

Well, apparently they changed their minds. Friday night. And apparently it is all my fault for encouraging them to not exchange. I'll elaborate after the holidays, as the story keeps getting more hilarious.

Yeah, so I loaded the van up with husband and all three kids for a little last-minute shopping to Toys R Us (using those ClubMom points for gift certificates rocks!) and Target, where I found NOTHING for the people I love. Everything I intended to purchase was subsequently sold out, or battered, and it was fuh-reaking me out. I got right into the oh no oh no oh no oh no space and flapped my hands and became snappish.

Then we had dinner and I dropped the family at home, before heading out alone to the closest mall. (Yeah! ClubMom gift certificates for Old Navy rock!)

I barrelled through the mall, accumulating two giant shopping bags crammed with packages from three stores, and at my final stop, acquired a large, stuffed apatosaurus. With my purse around my shoulder, the dinosaur tucked under an arm, both hands full of shopping bags and the chip on my shoulder that comes from shopping under duress, I made my way through the mall to my parking spot. As I passed through the last department store between me and my trunk, I kept seeing moms that I know from school.

I felt and looked like reheated ass, but most of them did too, so I waved cheerfully, and we exchanged shouted statisitics "Almost done!" "I've been to 17 stores!" as we passed in opposite directions. The final meetup with a friend came as I dragged my sorry carcass through the juniors department. I waved to a friend who was at a nearby register, and she beamed at me, holding a sale item aloft and pumping her fist. Her shouted words of encouragement rang in my ears - "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" as I found the last ounce of strength in my reserves and powered out the doors to the van.

Now, I'm wrapping. And wrapping. And wrapping. And then I'm going to take a page out of Carmen's book and have me a margarita.