The weather is turning to spring, although we've had a little rain.

The kids are back in school, although they are staying up later due to the later sunset.

The flowers would be blooming if the gardeners we hired didn't whack every friggin' plant in our yard down to nubs. The good? Less allergies. The bad? No privacy.

My son's tooth is still in place, although it is hanging by a thread. I just cringed in my seat thinking about it.

I've got a cold, and I don't think that's fair, just in general.

I feel incredibly guilty that I can't bring myself to watch any of the coverage from Virginia Tech. I just can't.

I've got too much stuff - in every category that stuff comes in.

Wow, what a complainer. I bet there is a subliminal audio program for that.

See, I've been listening to a subliminal program for weight loss for the last few weeks, and I will say that my habits are changing, and I'm doing inexplicable things when it comes to diet and exercise. I feel compelled to exercise daily. COMPELLED. And I find myself cutting a sandwich in half, and putting half in the fridge before taking a bite. I'm not hungry for snacks at the normal times, either. I'm just baffled.

My B.S. detector tells me that I'm listening to ocean waves and resonant tones (with the occasional seagull thrown in the mix - aah-aah!) mixed with weird new age-y music, and the rest is psychosomatic. But what if it actually IS working? Then I have to wonder about the 'positive messages' that number in the thousands (according to the intro) and are flooding my brain, sometimes to my right earphone, sometimes to my left.

Maybe these messages are like:

"Your butt is so big."
"Yeah, eat another cookie, Orca."
"Nice sweatpants, lard-ass."

Probably not.