On Popularity
My daughter pulled a chair up to the sink yesterday afternoon to "help" while I washed some dishes. We talked about my day (breakfast out) and her day (pretty good) and then she floored me.
"Mommy, do you think I'm going to be popular when I'm in high school?" She turned her green eyes on me and blinked slowly while I furiously scrubbed at an already clean plate.
"Depends on what you mean by popular, I suppose." I was stalling. I didn't know what to say.
"You know, cool." She rolled her eyes.
Although I was well-liked, I suppose, I wasn't one of the "in-crowd" in high school. I had a great group of friends, participated in the music program, had co-workers that I enjoyed, and a couple of really good friends that I still see frequently, but if you would have asked me then, I would have told you that I wasn't popular.
Having a wide circle of friends and loved ones, even if I don't see them daily, makes me feel like I'm part of something larger. Something accepting and wonderful. But am I popular? Who decides that? Who even cares?
I looked her in the eyes, and told her that she shouldn't worry about being "popular" in school.
"Nurture your friendships with kind friends who like you for who you are. That's so much better than trying to be "cool."
She rolled her eyes again. I gave her a soapy hug and told her she is already cool. She laughed and said:
"Mom, you're pretty cool, too."
_______________________
Before I forget to mention it - I have my review of the Saturn Vue up at TKC Auditions. That was a great week! If anyone in the SF Bay Area is in the market for a new Saturn, Ryan Murphy at Saturn of Santa Rosa is the guy to talk to.
Comments
Awww! I hope one of my girls says that to me some day.
Posted by: Kimberly | May 10, 2007 9:58 PM
... both of my girls asked me that when they were younger. I also remember asking MY mother that.
LOL.
Posted by: Meritt | May 11, 2007 5:29 AM
Social status stress, sad how fast they grow, cute post.
Posted by: stephanie | May 11, 2007 7:02 AM
Oh, how I dread this conversation. I was "popular," but that wasn't as hard when your high school was as small as mine. It didn't work out well - I ended up with an eating disorder and a vain streak I had to spend years ridding myself of.
Posted by: dorothy | May 11, 2007 8:21 AM
Wow, quite a question. I was decidedly not in the popular crowd, but was liked and not made fun of much and also had a great group of friends. I agree that is so much more important. In our school being smart was almost as "cool" as being popular, but with fewer parties. And I totally sucked at sports. My kids are likely gonna be althletes, based on dad's abilities, and show way more confidence than I did as a kid, so I wonder myself about them.
Posted by: Nicole | May 17, 2007 11:48 AM
Wow - what good advice - I hope I remember it when my daughter asks the same question. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: maria | May 18, 2007 8:59 AM