On July 4th, we headed to the beach for a picnic with my mom and sister. We had purchased a new sunshade thing recently, and when we unfurled that sucker on the sand, it was gigantic.

I surveyed the beach. Everyone else had tame little umbrellas. We had this thing. And no, I didn't pay no one-hundred-seventy for it. Mir would have been amazed at the deal I scored on it. But it was sort of overkill. I mean, who really needs a room-sized shade awning? Me, apparently, that's who.

So, we had this giant tent thing over our spot on the sand, and it was funny. And shady. When we first arrived, the wind was fairly calm, so we figured we were okay. As the afternoon wore on, the wind picked up as it always does, and our giant sun-shade was hanging in there. My kids were playing at the edge of the freezing water. My sister, mom and I were lounging on a blanket. My husband was sitting nearby when a huge gust hit the shelter at just the right angle and sent it aloft.

It tumbled end over end, missing my sister, my mom and I by inches before somersaulting its merry way toward the water. Immediately upon the damn thing's take-off, I started crowing hysterically. My mom and sister started screaming for my husband to catch it. I laughed until I thought my stomach would ache while my husband raced across the sand, trying to pin this giant thing down. He got ahold of it, and it almost lifted him off the ground.

At this point, my mom and sister were both yelling "Get it, DJ! Run, DJ! RUN!" and I was tipped over on my side, howling with tears running down my face. In other words, we were really helpful. I had visions of my husband being pulled into the air and deposited somewhere in the ocean, and lurched my way over to help, clutching my sides and wiping my eyes. We dragged the thing out of the waves and back up onto the beach. We finally got the thing collapsed, and went back to lounging.

The funniest part is that my husband is usually not the guy you would call for to chase something down. He's on the laidback side, and when my sister is with us, she's sort of the family runner. Not this time.

Run, Forest! Run!