Swine Lake
Yesterday morning, I threw myself into catching up on emails, phone calls and laundry. Yesterday afternoon, while racing down the hallway with a bottle of sunscreen in one hand, a pair of goggles in the other, I slipped on a molecule of dust, did a fully rotated spin with a half twist, and landed on my side.
Well, no. Actually, I landed on an unfortunate lampshade that I had placed on the hall floor. (I keep meaning to buy a new base for it. No need, now.)
My left ribs connected with the wire frame at the top of the lampshade, and the impact caved in the side of the lampshade. After landing, I lay perfectly still, face down in the hallway.
"Hey, look," said my son. "Mom's dead." He laughed.
My oldest trotted to my side, and nudged me with her toes. "I guess we should call the clumsy police," she offered.
"Nice one, Mom."
I had pretty much determined that aside from bashing the crap out of my ribs, I was fine. Nothing else hurt, and breathing wasn't painful. I let out a pitiful moan anyway, and addressed the flooring under my face.
"I'm hurrrrrrrrt."
My youngest laughed. "You're funny, Mommy."
I gave up, and gingerly peeled myself off of the floor. My kids didn't look even remotely worried. The shock of seeing their mother crash unexpectedly to the ground didn't seem to worry them. In fact, it brought out the funny.
"Mommy, you were like a ballerina!"
"Yeah, a bad one."
"Were you tired?"
"Aw, Mommy needed a little nap."
"Stop, drop and roll!"
"Oooh, I'm huuuuurrrrrrrt."
"Call the clumsy police!"
I yanked up my shirt and showed them my slowly developing bruise. My son beamed. "Nice one!"
I wonder how much worse it is going to get? At least it doesn't hurt much.
Comments
Oh OUCH. That looks painful! Hopefully it doen't get worse!
Boys don't do pitty or worry, very well, eh?
Posted by: sam | July 3, 2007 9:29 AM
Oh OUCH. That looks painful! Hopefully it doen't get worse!
Boys don't do pitty or worry, very well, eh?
Posted by: sam | July 3, 2007 9:29 AM
I love that your son said you were dead and then laughed! What a stinker!
Posted by: Karly | July 3, 2007 9:56 AM
Is it so bad that I laughed!!
The thing is, I could just picture me on the floor with my kids surrounding my inert body saying those same things!
Posted by: Tricia | July 3, 2007 11:19 AM
Is it so bad that I laughed!!
The thing is, I could just picture me on the floor with my kids surrounding my inert body saying those same things! It will turn a lovely shade of yellow before it fades away- perhaps regular photo updates just to track the color of that hematoma!
Posted by: Tricia | July 3, 2007 11:21 AM
ARNICA! Are you taking it? Are you smearing it on the wound? Seriously, that stuff will cut the evilness in half, pinky swear!
And I would have been concerned. Once I saw you were living though, I would have totally made fun of you.
Just saying.
Posted by: Elaine | July 3, 2007 12:08 PM
Ouch! Mom's get no sympathy!
Posted by: Mama Zen | July 4, 2007 6:34 AM
Yikes, honey! Hope you are feeling better. Have any arnica gel?
Posted by: jenijen | July 4, 2007 9:22 AM
Ouch! The sympathy just oozes, doesn't it. I was attempting to traverse a river with my little ones recently and slipped a couple times. My younger cried in panic mode, but I think they were more concerned about themselves as they yelled for big uncle Josh to rescue them.
Posted by: Nicole/wksocmom | July 4, 2007 10:46 AM
Owww! Bad luck. That bruise looks very painful.
But I am chuckling at the comments from your loving children. Clearly they get their sense of humour and sarcasm from you!
The thing is, kids are used to falling at least 5 times a day, and they don't weigh much, so most of the time they just shake it off and bounce back up again. Sometimes I don't respond with much sympathy unless mine are obviously in real pain, and crying. So I guess it makes sense that they assume you are fine, and just did it for laughs, right?
Heal fast, and get them back!
Posted by: Sheila | July 4, 2007 11:49 AM
Ouch! And no sympathy from the peanut gallery? Adds insult to injury.
Posted by: Daisy | July 4, 2007 2:18 PM
Nothing like sympathy from children!
Nice blog!
Posted by: Katie | July 4, 2007 6:08 PM
Your kids are hilarious little scamps, and that's going to be one prizewinning bruise.
Sounds like something I'd do. I once put my butt through my bedroom window whilst trying to move a nightstand. No injuries were sustained, but I did have to bear with excessive commentary from my ex-husband about that mishap.
Posted by: Michelle D | July 5, 2007 7:04 AM
Ouch. I pulled a muscle and fell to the floor last week. My son did not notice that I was rolling on the dirty floor in pain. I did notice how gross the kitchen floor was. Feel better.
Posted by: pamela | July 5, 2007 9:25 AM
OOOOW!
Posted by: HG | July 5, 2007 2:22 PM
Ouch. I'm not sure what hurts more, the actual bruise, or the way Mama was treated. Such is life of a mom. Incidentally, I broke a lamp this week, too. Fortunately, no bruises formed, but I really needed that light!
Posted by: Shawn | July 6, 2007 3:40 AM
Oh man, that looks like it hurt! Is it much worse today?
Posted by: Mom Nancy | July 6, 2007 2:14 PM
WOW! That *is* a nice one! You're going to be the color of moldy cheese in a couple days!
Posted by: Jen | July 6, 2007 2:18 PM
I think you should totally tell people it is a prison injury. Way cool drama and sympathy mixed with fear. I will totally back you. Ohhhhh, can I pretend to be your prison beyotch that stabbed you?
Posted by: Jenn | July 6, 2007 4:33 PM
Ahhh... Boys! I have 3 of them... it's funny how they think a bruise is a badge of courage! Too funny. I hope you are feeling good though - it looks like a nasty fall!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls
Posted by: Audrey - Pinks & Blues | July 6, 2007 5:56 PM
Jenny, OUCH!!! That must really hurt. But geez, couldn't the same kids who once came running to you to kiss invisible boo-boos and apply bandaids to microscopic scratches give you at least a TINY bit of actual sympathy? Sheesh!
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 7, 2007 5:37 AM
Jenny, OUCH!!! That must really hurt. But geez, couldn't the same kids who once came running to you to kiss invisible boo-boos and apply bandaids to microscopic scratches give you at least a TINY bit of actual sympathy? Sheesh!
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 7, 2007 5:37 AM