Take a five day holiday weekend (with virtually no work to put on a holiday required - Thanks, Mom and Dad!) and add in good health for my entire family - plus a bonus kids overnight at Grandma's, sleeping in until 9 am day, and I should be wallowing in good graces.

And I'm grateful. I am.

But boy, am I easily irritated.

Trying to get a good photo of my kids? I got one shot into it, and freaked out. And I wasn't doing anything other than standing there smiling grimly. Both my mom and sister were snapping away, and there was NO REASON for my short temper.

Trying to eat a nice meal that I didn't even have to cook? I got so irritated with my kids' inability to sit up and eat like civilized human beings without potty talk that I growled and snapped at everyone. Including my parents, who were gently aiding and abetting the poo-poo talk.

Then, one glass of champagne was apparently enough to put me into a narcoleptic state, and I threw a semi-tantrum, which was stupid, considering I was doing nothing to warrant it, and neither was anyone else, and all it took was five sips of coffee to revive me.

Loaded up with leftovers, including two entire cans of whipped cream, I haven't even had to cook for a couple of days. And I'm still cranky. I'm being serious here, if you have two entire cans of whipped cream at your disposal, to be squirted onto coffee, pancakes, leftover turkey, directly into your mouth - you have nothing to be cranky about.

Why for the cranky? Call it off! Call it off!

Rather than put some of this good old fashioned angst to work on the Black Friday crowds, I've been making friendship bracelets with my oldest daughter, taking long naps and playing four square with my son, and trying to keep my primate-like youngest daughter from hooting and screeching at the moon. She's glad to be alive! And I'm glad she's glad, but dayum. Even the Siamang Gibbons at the zoo have periods of silence.

OOOO-Moh! Moh! Moh! Moh!

I thought maybe a little yoga would help. It turns out that my shoulder, which has been hurting, probably because I'm a giant ass, didn't like some of those normally calming poses. Which, say it with me, made me cranky.

I'm going to bed early tonight, right after I dust the last of the whipped cream, and I'm planning on rising early tomorrow. I'm climbing out of the other side of the bed, just to be safe.