Both Hands and a Flashlight
We are one short week from the end of another school year, and I'm a little baffled. Where did the time go?
This morning, my baby will put on her fancy Christmas dress and will graduate from preschool. Saying goodbye to her playmates and teachers will be bittersweet. The year and a half that she has attended Tiny Tots has been a real growing-up experience for her, and it is remarkable to see the changes in her.
Even more remarkable to me is the fact that she is nearly in big kid school. Kindergarten looms and even though I've been counting down the days, eager for the time to work uninterrupted, eager for a fixed schedule that involves all three kids, part of me is hitting a low-grade panic mode.
Summer looms large. I'm working full-time plus some. I don't have childcare arranged, because I work from home, but dude. Just...dude.
Because they notice that I'm more connected to my laptop than their needs during work hours. They are vocal about disliking my tendency to push off reading a story while I answer just one more email. They want to go swimming. I have a conference call. They want to ride bikes. I have "more important" stuff to do.
I have a feeling that this is going to be the summer where I either have to get my shizzle together once and for all, or I go down in a fiery heap. I'm tired of muddling my way through, lacking the organization to make my life flow partly from My Lazy and partly from My Busy being at war with the needs of my family. I'm tired of parenting like I can't find my own butt with both hands and a flashlight.
Every year at this time I vow that this is the summer! This is the one where I relax, enjoy my kids, get caught up on all those little things, live in the now...
I appreciate the now. I really do. But watching my baby preparing to move on to the next stage, I find myself longing for yesterday.
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Comments
Wow. I SO relate to this.
"I don't have childcare arranged, because I work from home, but dude. Just...dude."
"Because they notice that I'm more connected to my laptop than their needs during work hours."
I am searching for something intelligent to add, but really, you said it so well, I'll just say "yes! It's this way for me too!"
Posted by: Vered | May 23, 2008 7:19 AM
On another site that I read, Work It Mom, one of the members recently posted an article about this.
Check it out here:
http://www.workitmom.com/article-213
Basically, tell the kids what is going on and the fact that you have to work. Then create a schedule that has "work time" and during that time the kids aren't to bug your unless it is an emergency. If they follow through with that part, then set aside some time in the afternoon to do whatever they want to do (go to the pool, go for a bike ride, whatever).
Best of luck with it all!
Posted by: Jenni | May 23, 2008 7:35 AM
I can so relate, too! My oldest is about to graduate from kindergarten!! And my baby is done now with his ECFE classes (which had me all emotional this week!) and will be in preschool in the fall. It's amazing how fast time does fly, doesn't it...
Except for those long, tiring summer days where they do nothing but hit each other and cry. Those seem to last forever.
Posted by: ~Steph | May 23, 2008 9:52 AM
I'm right there with you, Jenny. Right there.
Posted by: carmen | May 23, 2008 6:09 PM
I work two virtual part-time jobs and struggle with this balance all the time. My youngest is home with me full-time and my daughter finished 2nd grade this past Tuesday. My summer is in full swing! ARGH!!!
Posted by: Grace | May 24, 2008 8:59 AM
I had the same issue years ago when I worked from home and had all (3) kids home full time in summer. Difficult.
Luckily I could make my own hours so would get up, get the kids sorted out and fed and DO something they enjoyed for the entire morning. Swimming, parks, running through the sprinkler, splashing in the kiddy pool, going on mini adventures and whatever I could think of. Have fun and be active.
Then lunch was in order after which 'mom had to go to work'. Blessedly they would all nap for at least a while before getting some 'independent' time playing with toys or GASP! watching a video.
After dinner (we eat early, around 5) we would all hang out and play till bath/bedtime (again, early, around 7.30). Then I would work on whatever was on my desk.
It wasn't the best of both worlds by any means but it worked, most days.
What was a total help too was the fact that one of my neighbors ran a family day care and I could take the youngest two there easy peasy for a morning if I really needed to get anything done.
All the best to you this summer!
Posted by: janey | May 24, 2008 7:47 PM