There are other reasons than accomplishing work, to assign chores.

It takes work to develop character - discipline (the will to complete a task), responsibility, an understanding of how work relates to community and family, and the difference between satisfaction with a job well done, and pride of skills. (Pride goeth before the fall.)

Work can help mitigate some emotional problems, and generally improves mental health.

Often putting the kids to work, especially if you only do this over summer break, sends a mixed message. If the chores were worth doing, they would have had to be done all year. That is, you are inventing make work, or just jerking the kid's chains, by only having work (chores) for them in the summer.

They's get over it in a month or three. But do keep them working all year. It usually means more work for you. If a task is worth assigning, it is worth being checked on. You have to follow up, to know that the are doing the task correctly, to know whether they need more training, to notice when extra kudos are warranted. If you don't care to check up, you show them you don't care that it gets done at all, and you certainly don't care if the task gets done correctly.

The manager at a local theatre mentioned a trick played at another theatre - drop a few coins among the seats. If the crew isn't cleaning the whole theatre, they will likely overlook the coins. You might plant a quarter under an end table, and after the kids vacuum, show them they missed a spot. Use the quarter trick about every week to keep demonstrating they need to be thorough. As Seth Godin put it, irregular reinforcement can be most effective.

When working with horses I came across the '10 second rule'. When a horse does something disrespectful (step on you, push or crowd you, bite) you apply the rule. You have 4 seconds (otherwise it is just an attack, and has other consequences) to start - if it takes longer, you let it go and do a training session instead. If you get started in time, you have 10 seconds to 'kill' the horse - use no weapons but and open hand and voice, use lots of voice. The horse has to *know* he is being killed. At the 10 second mark, you stop. No late hits, no additional penalty, nothing. (I learned to keep a close eye on the trainee in case she acted out, to avoid confrontations and distractions.) I figured if I had to apply the rule twice in 30 days, I needed to review my training plan. In the wild, a senior mare will discipline unruly young horses, usually by kicking the snot out of the youngster once, and not having to do it again.

And I think the same rules actually apply to kids - horses just show improvement quicker. That is, you have about 4 seconds to light into them, about 10 seconds to inform then they erred, and then stop.

According to "Tools For Teaching" (I highly recommend this book for parents), when you get angry adrenaline changes your ability to communicate. No one learns well under adrenaline, it takes 28 *minutes* for adrenaline to cycle through the body - but it takes several minutes to build to a peak. When you start getting angry, take a calming breath to avoid a full-blown dose of adrenaline.

So, when the kid goes off the scale, nail them right there, or wait a half hour to teach and explain. Keep the dialogue to about 10 words when correcting the kids. More than 10 words is a lesson, and lessons don't happen under stress - you waste your time and confuse issues. With a short, "No!" you can express everything worth saying, or maybe, "La!" when they do wrong. If they have to wait until later for details, that is OK - avoid explanations when you or the kids are stressed.

Remember, you cannot control what they hear, only what you say. Unless they are ready to hear, you won't be communicating.

Something else I learned from "Tools for Teaching". You don't yell at a kid throwing a tantrum. You speak quietly. If you yell, you set a louder goal for the kid. If they have to listen for you, they have to stop making so much noise. Plus, the quieter voice involves less anger - less adrenaline. Better control, better communication.

Luck!

You go, girl! Sending everyone to their rooms is vastly underrated in today's parenting circles. Make them work, too! Although, if you've read my blog post Working For A Living, you'll know that giving them chores doesn't exactly make them cheerful little elves; grumbling union workers is more like it.

Dinner in solitary confinement! I am so going to file the serial numbers off that idea and use it the next time I have one of those horrible afternoon/early evenings.

I must confess I seem to have a tradition of wanting to be anywhere that my children are not at the beginning of summer vacation. I hope the feeling goes away as we all get used to it.

Chores are also good when a kid complains of being bored. My son has told me he was bored on summer break once, and only once. He's almost 15. That's a lot of years of entertaining himself!

After a wee bit of confusion I finally found the website you mentioned above. It's http://www.chorebuster.net/ (not .com) and I'm seeing a whole lotta promise there! Thanks for pointing them out!

We just put together "updated" chore charts for our kids...excel spreadsheets...the whole nine yards. And even though I think I might've approached the whole thing with a little too much structure (I plan on writing a post about that--LOL), it has been such a help as far as getting things done. Smiles!

I call that dinner for the kids Private Dining. Somehow it softens the blow but they sure get ticked because they're on their own with no audience. Because let's face it, MOMMY WANTS THE AUDIENCE FOR HERSELF.

At least it's that way at my house.

My older daughter (age 9) does the dishes unless it's a spectacularly messy night - like spaghetti and meat sauce, that's just not fair - and my younger (age 6) "helps" by transferring laundry to the dryer and starting the dryer. I've found, happily, that they take pride in their chores. The messy state of their closets, however, is a whole 'nother story...
:)

Do you think 2 is too young for solitary confinement and chores? Because I swear he totally needs it. Or maybe I need it. You know.

If you want to imitate the Voice of God in a southern accent, call Mother. She can make you want to weep with shame while waxing the kitchen floor using brushes lashed to your knees. This frees up your hands to fold laundry.

Not kidding.

When my son turned 12, that eau de divine right faded right off him. Now he:
- makes his own lunch
- does his own laundry.

The experience has made me realize I'm an idiot: I cannot believe I didn't hand over those chores when he was a really tall 3...

Hoo-rah! Or what is it that those Marine guys say?