NaBloPoMo #2

Although I've had my CPAP machine and mask thingie for over a month now, I've only used it for about 10 nights, and most of those have been partial nights. I think I'm not smart enough to use it properly.

Remember when I first had it, I had a triangle shaped mask that covered my entire nose, which resulted in a triangle shaped rash. This was Super Pretty.

Then, I got my current gear, which is called Lady Nasal Pillows. Or maybe it is Nasal Pillows For Her. Or something like that. It's just ridiculous how much I have issues with this thing.

I mean, basically, I put on the (hawt) headgear, and the little plastic part has these two little volcano-looking things that blow air up my nose all night. Couldn't be simpler, right?

I can't quite get the headgear adjusted properly. Too loose, and the little air-blasters keep slipping around, blasting my eyeballs with air.

Too tight? Pig nose. No, really, total pig nose. That's not comfy, although it is hilarious.

Then, oh my gaaaaaah is hose issue. There is this swiveling hose that protrudes off the front of the mask, with an air escape valve on it, so basically, if I leave it flopping around, the air from the valve ricochets off of my pillow, or my comforter, or my husband (he loves it) and again, there I am with the eyeballs being blasted with air.

The manufacturers thought of this, of course, and designed a little clip for the top of the mask strap thing so you can clip the hose in an arc up over your face to the top of your head. This is also Super Pretty. I've tried to pretend that it is a scuba rebreather and I'm on an awesome mission of danger and awesomeness under the sea. I've also tried to pretend that it is astronaut space breathing umbilical stuff. That's what they call it, right?

Anyway, I'm a dork, with dried out eyeballs and a pig-nose. Try to conceal your envy.