So, number ten on my 10 for 2010 list was a bold statement: I'm going to dance.

Notice I didn't say when, or where, or what kind, or even for how long, but by golly, I'm going to dance. I find vague goals are often easier to navigate.

I do love to dance, and I've been dancing my way around the house, while cooking dinner, while folding laundry, that sort of thing. I will say it is really challenging to get a good groove going while folding sheets, but I've got quite the pot-stirring, spatula flailing routine for my new dinner-disco workout. I especially like to spice it up with some "Uh! Uh!" and hip thrusts while adding spices. It's dinner AND a show - Food Network, you should call me.

I have noticed that my stamina to rock and roll all night, and party every day has waned a bit. Okay, a lot. I used to be able to dance for hours, and now I get all winded after a couple of songs. It's pathetic. I know I could use more cardio conditioning, and although I'd love to whip out my Irish Dance DVD and give that a go, I thought I would try something that has been recommended to me by five or six different friends.

There are a bunch of these Zumba (watch out, sound loads) classes in my area, and probably in your area, too. I looked at the promo stuff online, and talked to some of my girlfriends who go to the classes and they all said the same things:

Super fun, high energy, easy to follow and also, there are a lot of older white women in the classes who loves them some Latin rhythms.

Right away, I spot a problem with this. I know there's a learning curve, and that I'm not as coordinated (ahem) as I once was, and I don't want to be shown up by a bunch of grandmas. Because you know if I went into a live class right now, I'd be the one panting in the corner while women older than my own mom were breaking it on down. My competitive streak is not one my most attractive qualities, but there it is.

No, for pride's sake, I decided I would try it at home first. When the DVDs arrived, I opened them, and like a good little at-home fitness-learner, I watched them through once. And then I put them aside for about 5 months. Because I wasn't ready for it yet.

Two days ago I decided I was finally ready. Cue the Latin Rhythms, Jenny Lauck is about to Zumba!

I pulled my hair up into a scrubby little ponytail and stood in front of my TV, watching screen after screen of disclaimers and warnings. Before I hit play to get the show on the road, I pounded on my imaginary shoulder pads a few times and jogged in place.

I was about to get my dance on.

For the first time, I followed the step-by-step beginner's tape which is an introduction to the various dance steps and hand motions that they can use.

I make it through the first demo okay. It's Merengue, and I'm feeling pretty coordinated. The incredibly gorgeous people on the DVD even applaud for me at the end of that routine. Yay me!

Salsa time. Again, no problems. What I'm finding out here is that I'm an excellent dancer, and all around Zumba queen. Put some attitude into it? Why yes! Add more hips! I HAVE MORE HIPS FOR YOU.

Delighted with my success at these two steps, I thought the rest would also be a breeze. And then the instruction for the Samba started. They started off really slow, which okay, foot out, heel pivot, switch, foot out, heel pivot, switch. I'm awesome at Samba! Carnival, watch out!

And then they upped the speed. Add a little hop between steps and go faster. Okay, so wait, I still have this, I still have this...I don't have this at all. What the heck is going on with my feet? I'm doing foot out heel pivot kick myself in the opposite shin, hop, hop again, hop AGAIN to get back on the same foot as the girl in the bra-top and now I'm totally lost.

OMG - My Samba is starting to resemble my Irish Step Dancing. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

That segment over, I know I should go back and try it again, but I figure I'll just keep on going. I'm good at 2 out of 3 so far. And by good, I mean "good." What's up next? Oh! Reggaeton!

This is a cross between funk and reggae and hip-hop, so they tell me. And right away we're moving hands from side to side and I can do this! Suck it, Samba! Look at me go! I'm back to being a Zumba Queen! Oh wait, we're moving the legs. And now we're speeding it up and adding the arms.

Okay, I'm hanging with this! I'm hanging with this! Oh wait. Now we're marching. And shimmying. And now they are clapping under their marching legs. I, however, am slapping my thighs on each side like it's a ding-dang hoe-down. I'm bruising, and I'm getting sort of discouraged.

I am exceedingly happy I didn't just go to a live class.

The Flamenco wasn't too bad, although when making "strong arms" I did manage to almost put my own eye out with jabby attitudinal hand movements. And the final steps, from the Cumbia, were okay. I got those ones down without any bloodshed.

Samba and Reggaeton failures aside, I'm ready to move on to the advanced DVD. Let's hope that those routines are flexible enough to deal with a little random hopping. And also, possibly some Krunk stylings.