It's almost been a year since my sister DeAnne was diagnosed with breast cancer. Last year, we all knew that she had abnormal masses in her breast, but my mom and I were convinced it was nothing. Cysts, we agreed. It's nothing, we have no cancer in the family on either side, we're all fine. DeAnne is fine!
And she is fine, but she's also a breast cancer survivor now. And I can no longer say that cancer isn't in our family.
I really hate cancer.
In a few days, I'll head in for my second mammogram, and while I'm confident that they won't find anything unusual, there is always that little bit of "what-if" that can't be ignored.
I've recently started doing Weight Watchers, something I've never been successful with because all day long you are plotting your next food choices, and frankly, focusing on food all day is not a good way to lose weight. I'm trying to avoid the mental mindset of "ooh, how much can I eat for how little points?" because frankly, volume isn't my issue. I'm not concerned with feeling "full" all the time, but I do tend to seek out foods like cheeseburgers when life is busy and I just want some comfort food and I don't have time to plan well.
But I'm very aware that packing around extra weight is not doing my health any favors, and it significantly ups my odds of developing cancer. So, I'm counting points and forgoing cheeseburgers and making appointments to get my boobs squished.
I haven't wanted to write about it, because it seems that if I put it out there on the internet, I tend to fail. (Hi, Big Slice!) But I'm doing it. I am.